june 1

oh dear God, how did it get to be June already?

help me.

this means i've officially been out of school for more than a year. 

a year.

perhaps a lovely vintage suit or large-rimmed hat will help me through this difficult time.

photos by Henry Clarke.

aren't they fantastic?

today, on this, my day off...

i slept into an unbelievably late hour

caught up on the season finale of the hills (oh brother)

am crooning ingrid michaelson tunes at the top of my voice 

have got sweet potato chips baking in the oven (homemade of course)

and...wait for it...am heading to the mainland this afternoon. NEW JERSEY of course! as much as it gets a bad rap, there are parts of the state that can rival any area of this country for sheer beauty. and it's home to one of my favorite places on earth, my aunt and uncle's house. this means family time. and much needed respite for the soul.

ps: i had time to call for that haircut. 

Happy Monday!

in celebration of failure.

i have not failed. i've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

thomas edison

happy sunday. get your feet wet and fail a little.

photo via fffound

once more.

today i awoke to a miracle.

the city was a revelation.

bathed in green. swathed in new light.

i stood on the corner of 77th and columbus and was lost. i'd gone too far. not far enough. where was i?

i looked up. 77th. columbus. no, this is right. and then i realized:

green. a canopy of green above. and with that, everything looked different. altered. the usual no more.

the city is a brand new playground. these corners and pockets that i know so well have changed and are beckoning me forth to explore. mapped and charted territory in need of new delineations.

suddenly, the usually banal cross town bus trip is like burrowing through the center of the rain forest. it doesn't last too long. but it's a glorious explosion of lushness in the gathered bouquet of skyscrapers and tenements that is new york.

new york is new again. new to me. and i could fall in love once more.

we forget, you know. there are times that our memories trail so close behind--clicking at our heels. and so we forget. trees lose their leaves. and then they find them again. of course. how could i forget this?

barren arms reaching to the sky. and then an answered prayer. blooms and buds. and flowers and leaves. cyclical. life is cyclical. and so the word barren is not right. trees are not barren. they are never without. they are in transition. life takes on new form.

i am not without. i am in transition. and soon a prayer will be answered and i will bloom and open. and i will be the same but altered. and i will get to explore this new me who was here all along. and the cycle will repeat.

the trees sang me a song this morning and my ears are alight with their hum.

Happy Sunday: front stoop found.

i took this picture at the start of last september. all the different lives that for just one moment fit inside the tiny lens of my camera. and the three front stoops--oh how i love them.

oh saturday night.

Since my Saturday night (following work) consisted of a trip to Duane Reade to purchase ant traps as well as the latest edition of Life and Style...

I'm thinking match.com doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

Really.

Because I don't want to end up as a cat lady. And the pervading feeling among my family members...

is that I just might.

PS: thanks for all the tips about the ants...I'll keep you posted on the success of the drugstore-brand traps!

image via fffound

my monday post-secret

inspired by the post-secret blog, which updates every sunday, i thought i'd pass on my own little secret. 

plus i have big news (well, big news to me) that i can't wait to share later.

happy monday, indeed!

an easter confession.

when i was little i wasn't afraid of death. i wasn't afraid of an afterlife.

i was afraid of the three days between those two things. the three days when one's body was stuck in a grave. underground. 

that's what i thought it all meant....it took Jesus three days to rise from the dead...so it would be three days between death and the afterlife. three days when even the soul would lie dormant, interred beneath the sun. 

how i long for that innocence. and clarity. and freedom from the fear of things not worth fearing. 

i have inadvertently locked myself inside my apartment.

i can't find my keys. so i can't leave.

i can't find anything lately. keys. metrocards. motivation.

someone come get me.

please.

i really loved this...

and immediately had to buy Alexi Murdoch's, Time Without Consequence (the song in the trailer is from this album). and yes, he sounds like Nick Drake and since i can no longer listen to Nick Drake (makes me just a wee bit sad) this will be a lovely replacement.

ps: thank you Dia for teaching me how to post a video. i had no idea about the edit Html tab (and i've been blogging for how long?)

because many a comment has been made about my eyebrows...

i just thought you should know that...

the other night when i was babysitting....

the little girl asked to steal them (yes, my eyebrows).

she wanted my eyebrows and my painted fingernails.

so even a child of four recognized that my eyebrows are...something else, if you will.

p.s. i wax, that's all. and not even too often. but recently i've been introduced to something called an eyebrow pencil. this has changed my life. i used to think there was no possible way to use one without it looking fake. i was wrong. just adds a little color and clarity. 

as for the picture. 

sometimes instead of ridiculous faces, i make ridiculous poses. 

i'm not really picking my nose. 

or am i?

sometimes I can't control the metaphors that come out. this can be embarrassing...

Two days ago sidewalk cafes were multiplying like bunnies in heat (I can't believe I just said that.)

Yesterday it rained.

Today I woke up inside a snow globe. It looks as though big hunks of kleenex tissue are plummeting towards the ground--violently. It might just be the most beautiful thing I'v ever seen.

That's spring in New York for ya.

what if....

what if i hung my feelings like  photos on the wall just to remember 

what if i was a detective and searched my body for fingerprints and traces of your touch

what if i stopped right here, planted my feet, lifted my arms to the sky and grew leaves

what if i was a poem chasing its tail across the page

what if i disappeared into the crowd and swung from palm to palm like Tarzan through the jungle until i found a grasp that wouldn't let go

what if my legs moved on without me and i just stood right here, head over shoulder, waiting for the past to catch up

image fount at FFFFOUND!

by Stefanie Augustine

so maybe i like the kind of ice cream you can pick up in your fingers and play with.

It's called Mochi ice cream. Didn't you know? 

Sesame flavor? Yes please!

it is my personal belief...

...that when walking the streets of New York in Spring, one must always accessorize with an umbrella or a bouquet of flowers. 

Or a horse. That's even better. 

Image found here.

I am the Walrus.

Today I took Liam and Bells (my two babysitting charges) to the Natural History Museum.

At one point with my best fish face, I turned to Liam and between fish bubble noises I asked, "What am I Liam? Am I fish?"

He said, "No silly, you're a woman."

There it was. Life's great truth. Delivered by a three year-old.

Have you ever...

...caught a glimpse of someone and for one suspended moment thought you were living a completely different life? 

It's amazing. Bewildering, but amazing.