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2.20.2012

these are the ways you love yourself. (to forgive).

forgive yourself the nights you climb into bed full-face of makeup, too tired to take it off. forgive yourself the days when one latte is not enough, when the two major food groups are coffee and sugar. forgive yourself that one night when at two am you woke to use the bathroom and inhaled an entire chocolate bar instead. forgive the time spent with a man you now have not one nice thing to say about. and forgive just how long it took to get over him. he was not good and not kind and he is not your fault. keep some secrets closer. forgive yourself for actually loving the gentle curve of your hips. and to hell with a society which suggests you might not or should not. they herald your womanhood, the man you marry will lose himself in them, they will hoist groceries and children. they are sturdy--anchoring you firmly to this earth. forgive the nights you cannot sleep--sadness or some unnamed force pressing heavy on your chest. forgive the mistakes of the last several years. so you made them. okay. enough. move on. the mistakes and the fault-lines, they are the foundation. forgive yourself that you did not choose an easier path. and forgive yourself the sadness you caused those around you. the broken-promises and cutting words and the things left unsaid. fear was large and biting. forgive the anger you feel. feel it and then look again with kinder eyes. forgive yourself for not handling it all better, for feeling like you let others down. the path is not done, the road is not finished, why are you trying so hard to rush the whole thing? celebrate the fact that your story has some major departures. go ahead and use that expensive serum that promises to diminish those fine lines. protect and preserve your skin. but when the day does come when forehead creases no longer fade into the background, give thanks. humanity made visible! you will be loved all the more for this. you will love yourself all the more for this.  and please, for the love of all that is good and holy forgive yourself for loving a man who cannot love you back. love him anyway. send that love into the world and let it fill you up. the only way to know the story is to go out and and write it. live your way into it. ferociously. begin to live and work and fight and love with an unparalleled ferocity. let fear dictate nothing. unfurl your chest, you have all the armor you'll ever need. see with wide eyes and don't forget to laugh.



53 comments:

heatherhxo said...

This brought me to tears, thank you for sharing. Truly beautiful and inspiring.

Jessica said...

I LOVE this!

AND, on the subject of forgiveness, I think you would really like and enjoy reading A Course In Miracles.

XO, Jessica

Lottie said...

This brought a lump to my throat--so much of this resonates with me and I need to just let go and forgive.

Marian said...

I absolutely love this!

Sarah Ann said...

There are so many days when I visit your blog and I'm thankful to my core that you wrote something. Especially something like this.

Because there are days when I feel and don't have the words, but then I come here and it seems that you do.

Ms. Chapatti said...

"See with wide eyes and don't forget to laugh"
I think I'll start to live by these lines, so beautiful they are!

Kmarie said...

This is incredible. I stumbled upon your blog through someone else. Would I be able to re- post this or link it- obviously giving FULL credit and your link and name. I could call it a guest post or something. It goes perfectly with some things a few of my readers need to hear. I have a very small blog but I would LOVE to add this astounding piece...Just let me know. Thanks:)

Maria said...

Goodness gracious your writing is SO beautiful!

Inez said...

Lovely, I'll forgive myself. Thanks for a lovely piece.

meg fee said...

@Kmarie: absolutely!!! re-blog away, i'm so flattered.

Amanda said...

this is beautiful. you are one hell of a writer. thank you for sharing your inner-most thoughts with us.

Annelies said...

Beautiful. Tears in my eyes. Read it aloud the second time i read it. Even more beautiful.

katilda said...

we're going to have to make some blanket rule about you reading my thoughts and then posting them and making me teary eyed more than once in the same day. it's maybe inappropriate, currently.

S. Christie said...

Meg, this blew me away.
"Let fear dictate nothing".
Thank you for allowing these words to flow through you - I'm glad you found time to write.

Erin {pughs' news} said...

Wow. This is powerful and it's going to stay with me.

Thanks for sharing it with us, Meg. Today I really needed to read this.

haley said...

God has given you such a gift. All your writing strikes home with me. Thanks for a much needed "love yourself" talk :)

Jennie La said...

Perfection. I need to write this. Thanks for sharing your amazing writing. Always.

laurrdunn said...

this is exactly what i needed to hear today--thank you.

Matilda said...

WOW! this is truly beautiful. thank you for sharing it with us!

Kmarie said...

I reposted and linked! Thanks for the permission ( and the beauty.) Love being a part of such an inspiring post even if it just to pass it on to a few others:)

The Ls said...

thank you thank you thank you

Erin said...

Amen.

Alissa said...

Beautiful. I was struck by: "send that love into the world and let it fill you up." What a gorgeous image--all that love, painful as it is, filling up the spaces between us.

Thank you for sharing.

Holly said...

I definitely needed this, it is so beautiful and totally speaks to me. Thank you so much!

lcb said...

So well done, Meg. I've written these things countless times over in my journals, and am still working on getting there. Probably will always be, on some level. Thanks for the reminders.

From DC to Sweet Tea said...

I LOVE THIS. I've been following you for a while and love everything you write. Hope you don't mind my re-post :)

Little Tree Vintage said...

I love this! thank you. you are amazing.

Wandering Mind said...

Thanks for this. It's something I needed to hear (or read as it may be). :)

Anonymous said...

This is beautiful.
I really needed it. You have a true talent!
Thanks for sharing your words and your good taste in music. I love your blog.

I thought you might like this poem I read on a cup of jo

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
--Mary Oliver, Dream Work

forward [e]motion said...

this is just brilliant.

the word forgiveness has been buzzing min my mind recently.

there are so many little moments that pass in which i let myself feel so bad and guilty and unworthy. it can be as small as eating an almond croissant for dinner instead of a vege stir-fry. or not doing the dishes for an entire week.... or two weeks.

but i've started forgiving myself. these are little, fleeting moments that i can easily forgive myself for if i just let go a bit...

i think i'll have a crack at a little forgiveness essay too. and if i don't get around to writing it for another week or so, i'll forgive myself for that too.

xx bel.

Aman said...

"Unfurl your chest, you have all the armor you'll ever need."
That line displays such a fantastic release!

Bravely written,Meg!

forward [e]motion said...

ok. inspiration hit me like a tonne of bricks and so i went for it and wrote this:

http://forwardemotion.blogspot.com.au/2012/02/should-ing-all-over-myself.html

thank you meg for writing so honestly (and for giving me a little kick to do the same!)

x bel.

JeyOwwaY said...

Well said. If only it could be done just as easily as said. Thanks for posting this. really would want to apply all of these but will try to do as much as possible. One day at a time i guess. :)

forefrontfashion said...

it's okay to get messy in life. at least you know you're living.

colleen said...

really beautiful and well-written.

Alex said...

That was so very beautiful, Meg.

Ariel Tyler said...

This is so wonderful

aspasm said...

Do you know how talented you are? This was really, really, lovely. Thanks for reminding me to forgive myself (especially about loving that man who won't love me back and for not taking the easy road. Those are hard ones to deal with every day).

Kare said...

serious perfection. i adore every word.

Eliza said...

This is so beautiful, you have such a gift! Would you mind if I share this post on my blog? xo, eliza

meg fee said...

@eliza: of course!

viktorija said...

Beautifully written. ;)

Kate said...

Beautiful and honest. You are just so inspiring.

Joelle :: Something Charming said...

I think I was supposed to stumble upon your blog today. I really needed to hear this. Thank you.

Francesca Forzoni said...

thank you for this - i needed to hear this..

please can i re-blog and give full credit and details about your page underneath?

after the last two weeks and now the drama that happened last night i really needed this so thank you again x

Julia said...

such a great message and so inspiring!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

You are such a beautiful light, my dear.

Shelley said...

I don't usually comment on blogs anymore but I had to comment on yours. I am so impressed by how well you write and how well you articulate the things you've been through. I feel like I can relate to you so much. I suffered from anorexia and now deal with binge eating and it is such a difficult thing to deal with.. but I definitely think forgiveness is a HUGE part of being able to move forward. I am so happy I found your blog!

Alyssa said...

I LOVE this. I needed this this morning. Oi-speaking to my heart lady.

kwistin said...

aaaaaaand this made me cry.

it was serendipitous i found your blog today. thank you for your words and your hope and your vulnerability and courage.

it is being felt far and wide.

Carolina said...

thank you, for following your you, and thinking and sharing. i cried (quite a bit more than a couple tears) as i read and it all was so familiar. xoxo.

lovely, yellow, madison said...

This about made me cry. {I would have cried but I've cried so much today that I figured my roommate might worry even more} It addressed just about everything I need to forgive myself of today. Today sucks and this is just what I needed. I love your honesty, it's absolutely brilliant and very much appreciated.

anne taylor said...

this is so beautiful. thank you so much for sharing. i just found your blog and i am so in love!