the strapless dress saga: a backstory.

the other thing to know about the strapless dress discussion is that...

my mother approached the whole thing by saying the type of dress you wear to a family member's wedding differs from what you would wear to a friend's wedding.

you see, there may or may not have been a dress worn to a family wedding last year that not long after appeared on an episode of brothers and sisters as worn by...

...wait for it...

sally fields.

now don't get me wrong. i love me some sally fields. but she's the matriarch of the family. and has a good 35 years on me. at least.

needless to say the dress has not been worn again.



it should also be noted that my mother has been right about a few things in the past. namely concealer and hairbrush. who knew? those two things have revolutionized my life.

a guide to a successful self-portrait session. (in the bathroom).

1. stop worrying about whether it's narcissistic. it is. move on.

2. pull out your bumpit. if your gonna engage the ego, might as well add a bit of whimsy.

3. choose a bathroom with strong lighting to wash out any flaws.

4. make sure the camera is in focus, even if you are not.

5. know that for every 10 photos you take there might be 1 good one. and that's a pretty successful ratio.

no, but in all seriousness, i joke about this and i take excessive amounts of bathroom shots because i actually have a tremendous fear of having my photo taken. darn that last vestige of ned. but i'm working on it. here's to the day when i won't need to ever employ the bathroom photo shoot again!

and since i'm feeling "in the answering questions mood": the lipstick worn in my other bathroom shoot was benefit lip stain in posietint.

for your listening (and viewing) pleasure. {and for mine}.

i know, i know. another one.
(another noah and the whale related post).
and yes, i know, i understand why many think this third album isn't as good as the first two.
but the thing is...
well.
the second album was one of such deep heartache.
and i know that. that sadness that swallows you whole.
so this third album--one of great hope and resiliency and coming back to one's self and realizing that life is even sweeter...well, maybe that's why i love it. the bliss of it. the bliss that comes after the fallout.

so yes. i'm sharing this video. because it's one of my favorite songs on the album.
and because lately, i've been thinking, that i'd do just about anything to be seventeen again, driving the winding roads to school in my volvo station wagon, listening to john mayer (before he ever released his second studio album and we learned far too much about his personal life in the tabloids). to be seventeen, immune to heartache, and feel like anything at all is within a fingertip's grasp.

ps: doesn't the drummer just look like sun is shining down on his face?

a change in wardrobe

everyone's begun to panic that i'm not dating anyone.

(any by everyone i mean my mother. though maria said i have only two years before i reach spinsterhood--two years being her mark because she was twenty-seven when she tied the knot).

on my first day home i sat at the counter watching the television as i chomped down on my omega bread and peanut butter. my  mother slid a j. crew catalog in front of me. flipped to a page with an abundance of strapless dresses. see these? i think, you should think, about wearing one of these to the wedding this summer. 

i have a wedding to go to this summer.
my mother thinks i should wear a strapless dress.
point of fact: my mother thinks a strapless dress will snag me a man.

oh, that's all it takes? okay then. 


it became the joke of the week. strapless dresses: the panacea for my life.


i don't know why i haven't dated anyone seriously. maybe i'm picky. too picky? sure. maybe i've chosen poorly in the past. maybe the timing's been off. maybe, as it turns out, i'm quite shy. maybe i want the guy to make the first move. maybe i fear a broken heart.

honestly, maybe i just don't know.

but i'm willing to give the strapless dress thing a go.

a week at home. just not long enough.

new york's winter this year was so long and so hard that i began to pine for time in texas months ago--my body literally craved it. so i gave myself a week. a whole week. and yet i blinked and it was over.

i wish i could bottle the time. stretch it. make it last. but as quickly as it goes there is no way to measure the value of dinners at home or time spent in the car with my mother--trying out the restaurant of my father's choosing, or just perusing large air-conditioned stores.

last night we invited our dear, dear friends maria and gail over for dinner (maria took care of me when i was just a wee of a thing). maria took a look at me, tilted her head, and in her lilting italian accent asked if i'd fallen in love. it was the loveliest compliment.

maybe time at home, dinners outside, time with the people you love most in the world--maybe those are the next best things to actually falling in love. i can't wait for that day when they all intersect.

l. frank baum

the wizard of oz

this week i traded the manhattan skyline for home.

the last photo is of an old bulletin board in my closet at home. there's a sheet of white paper on which i've written "because sometimes i like being friends with you so much--i can't breathe." i was nineteen, in love, and it came to my in dream. six years later it's still there--the post it note, that is. always makes me smile when i see it. 

"day by day 

old joy, comes back to me"

noah and the whale

noah & the whale: the bowery ballroom.

last night my roommate amanda and i headed to the lower east side to see noah & the whale.

it was...heaven. 

and now i am ever so slightly in love--those voices, the violin, live music (period), and unruly curls. 

{unruly curls most of all}.

ps: their new album is perfection. it just came out. two weeks ago, at most. go get it. 

"one day..." dream: the balcony edition

woke up early this morning. nestled close to the radiator because it's cold in new york today. sipped on my coffee. 

came across this photo and thought, that's almost precisely the whole of the life i dream of one day living.

think about it: lace curtains. fresh flowers. good food. and a table set for two. on a balcony abroad. 

photo by elseachelsea on flickr

a southern boy's closet.

my girlfriends and i have been talking of late about the type of men we're interested in.

types, really. because who can pick just one?

i saw a man getting off the subway yesterday: he was tall, lean, and had a lovely dark beard. and that was it. somedays those are the only three things i need.

other days i want a man with dark, deep-set eyes and strong hands.

and then there's the type from texas (or somewhere far south of the northeast). the type who wears pastels and button-up polos. who keeps his hair ever-so-slightly too long and combs it to the side when it need not be. these were the guys i was in love with in high school (and oh there were a few of them). it's a particular type for sure. and i understand the type--it's cultural. my roommate amanda does not, but she's from chicago.

when i visited my brother in boston a few weeks ago i snapped a photo of the innards of his closet. 1. because it made me laugh. and 2. because i knew it would come in handy at some point for some thing.

last night i pulled it out. offered it up to amanda as explanation. said, amanda, this is what a southern boy's closet looks like (keep in mind my brother spent many of his formative years in virginia).



one look at a closet like this and you know, this is a guy who'll take a girl with pearl-stud earrings over a girl with diamonds any day of the week.

it's what we know--what molds and forms us that later proves to be the thing we're attracted to. (or one type, at least).

book club: the paris wife/giveaway winner announced!

the second meeting of book club went wonderfully. the house was clean, the light was streaming, the bubbles were flowing, and there was plenty of bread and cheese (which as i sit here writing this now i'm doing everything i can to keep myself from going to the fridge for more. i'm also doing all i can to keep my eyes open--i.am.pooped). 

and then there was the company. and the discussion. 

i feel so lucky. right now. at this very moment. i met a fantastic group of new friends friday night, i went to work saturday where i'm surrounded by strong and beautiful women, and then today: moving and generous, these girls really got me thinking and talking--in fact the discussion didn't really end until 8:30 tonight when my two roommates and i decided it was probably time to wind it down. 

for those who couldn't be with us we spent a lot of time talking about the social pressures and expectations of that time period. (for those who don't know the book chronicles the marriage of earnest hemmingway and his first wife hadley. the story is told from her perspective and much of it takes place in paris). we spoke of the difference in age between earnest and hadley and how that manifested in their relationship (he was 21 to her 28).

and while others praised her strength i was particularly struck by how in her desperation to keep earnest, hadley seemed to temper so much of what made her unique and vibrant--the very things earnest was drawn to. she became a shell of herself--willingly catered to his shadow.

it really got me thinking that often the way to deal with what we fear is to head into it--not to do all we can to avoid it. we have to be willing to lose everything if we're actually going to get what we want. 

just a thought.

in other news: our giveaway winner!!  congrats to heldredg (and many thanks for the kind comment about my little blog here). 

for those who didn't win there's hope yet: you can get 10% off your Shabby Apple order by entering wilybrunette10off at the time of purchase. i'm thinking i might just get the dress myself, i love it so!

here's hoping everyone's week get's off to a great start.

on tap for me: noah and the whale tuesday night and home to texas wednesday morning.

 it's gonna be a good week, indeed. 

my manhattan: time in the kitchen, old friends, new friends, and colored tiles

the weather in new york this week was such that i threw open every window of the apartment as often and as quickly as possible. with an uncharacteristic amount of time on my hands i took to the kitchen (where, as it turns out, the cuisinart is changing my life). i made sweet potato pancakes, peanut butter from stratch, a vegan version of mac and cheese, and--the now tried and true--banana bread. i was also fortunate enough to visit with my absolutely stunning (and smart, to boot) friend, monica who this summer will tie the knot with her charming love of six (seven?) years. sigh. where did that time go? and the week rounded out with a dinner party in brooklyn where i met with some of the most intelligent and charming women i've had the pleasure to know in quite some time. when my father asked me what such forward-thinking ladies speak about when gathered together for an evening of good food and lots of wine, i replied: boys, of course. 

domestic determination.

i'm not sure when exactly or even how it happened...

but.

i find myself falling in love with the kitchen.

cooking.

and baking.

(mostly baking).

and i suddenly woke one day to find that i'd amassed so many different types of flours (quinoa, coconut, garbanzo) and powders (cocoa, carob, and on) that my kitchen shelves were out of control.

though a quick trip to the container store and a swish of chalkboard paint and things are looking a little better. not totally organized, but certainly on the way there.

anyone got any good recipes for me?

to my one-day-pal:

dear love,


i get blue. sometimes. often, maybe. i lean in that direction. and then, sometimes more, i lean into it. the blue.

and when i do, i can be convinced--or rather, i convince myself--that, well... a change in hair color can change my life.

yes. hair color.

and the thing is. it doesn't. and i end up hating it. and spending far too much time scrub-a-dub-dubbing it away in the shower.

so in those moments--those quiet lulls when you feel me fading, pull me close, kiss my lips, and promise that you won't let me touch my tresses--because you think they're perfect just as they are.

hell, you think i'm perfect just as i am.




love, love,

the girl with the hair with the auburn cast (for now)

hudson heights.

when i was a little girl my father was constantly traveling to russia.

he'd return with beautiful items from the one of the country's many outdoor markets. small wooden toys. intricately carved santas. hand-painted matryoshka dolls detailing native fairy-tales. and from these items i gleaned what i could from a country that felt a world away. a lifetime away, really.

i remember once dreaming that i was there, in russia, swinging on a swing set. i went to jump off (as children do at the peak of a swing when you're young and without fear) and off i flew. and off i fell--off the edge of the world--i disappeared from the image. as though the world was two-dimensional and i had died. (think old-school video games).

that was my impression of russia. that the world was flat and russia was the edge.

sometimes that's how i feel about my little corner of new york. aslant on the hill. just next to the river. quiet.

and at the edge of the earth.

as though at any moment i might simply fall from the screen.

lovely.

happiness is always a by-product. 
it is probably a matter of temperament, 
and for anything i know, it may be glandular.
but it is not something that can be demanded 
from life, and if you are not happy you had
better stop worrying about it
and see what treasures you can pluck
from your own brand of unhappiness. 


robertson davies woulaok

a letter to the man i'll dance with long after the guests have gone and the dance floor is little more than worn wood and wet grass,

have i ever told you i want to walk down the aisle to cat steven's the wind?


well, i do.

a giveaway for this (almost) spring week...

i'm so very excited to start this week off on the right foot.

the right foot, you ask? 

a giveaway, i say!

from none other than shabby apple--you know--the women's dress store that you've already, at one point, purchased numerous items from, or drooled incessantly over their images. 

if not--if this is your first brush with them--well, then welcome out from under that their rock and bask in the bright ray of sunshine that is their collection. (holy moly, it's the monday after spring forward and sass is my middle name). 

shabby apple focuses on creating dresses that are one-piece outfits, nothing else necessary. they are ultra-feminine and highly flattering. 

one lucky reader will take home the waimea dress. 

isn't it lovely? i want it. (desperately). it's a deep blue and white--my calling card. and scallops? swoon. (i may also have been swayed by how beautiful the model is).

to enter: visit shabby apple and leave a comment below. tweet, post to facebook, or like shabby apple on facebook for a second entry. (and then comment letting me know).

the entry will close wednesday at midnight and the winner will be announced thursday. 

(open to u.s. residents only). 

happy monday. it's gonna be a good week!

mark the date: next sunday.

if you're planning on attending and haven't gotten an email from me with the location then send a message my way. 

and just so you know: my roommate amanda has read the book and has some mighty strong feelings about mr. earnest hemmingway and she won't be holding back. so come forewarned and prepared. 

my manhattan: dark woods, intersecting lines, and sumptuous feasts.

the mac boys did a bang-up job and i'm deeply indebted to them for the return of the computer in all its glory. coffee be damned!

i'll be back next week with things to say and (even--i hope) a giveaway!



i just want to take this moment to send my prayers to japan and beyond. this natural disaster is another startling reminder of the earth's undeniable power and as one tweet said "that we're just guests on this planet." it then falls to us to treat the earth with respect and reverence--to preserve the tenuous balance that mother nature lords over--we can do this in what we choose to eat, how we harvest food and animals, consumption of all kinds and on and on. now is the time to say prayers, give thanks, and go about enacting change.

till monday...