toast.

i am eating multigrain toast with cheddar cheese right now. and all together it tastes like cinnamon.

hmmm.

the fridge in this temporary apartment from which i pulled my cheddar cheese is awfully full of jam. that's what i caught my attention this morning during the cheese extraction. so much jam. so many jars of jam.

i've noticed this. always a lot of jam in apartments where girls reside. and yet i've never really seen girls eat jam. well, there was this one time that my fried carolyn ordered jam with her toast at a restaurant, but she was following a vegan diet and i pointed out that jam usually has an animal extract in it and everyone at the table gave me a nasty look. and that was that.

i myself like jam. very much. most especially that of the raspberry hero persuasion. and i like my cheese kerrygold. there i said. swedish and irish. i have an international palate.

there's always that moment moving into a new place when someone else's mess becomes your mess and the feeling of disease abates (as in not at ease, not the medical condition). i'm waiting for that.

already it's a wee bit better. i bought myself a lamp from wal-mart. it's silver with a white shade and very classy, if i do say so myself. and i've put a pretty blue sheet and flowering comforter on the raised twin-bed.

it's just that, out of all the jars of jam in the fridge not-a-one is mine.

so this adjusting thing may take a little time.

ps: i can't thank you all enough for your loving comments and emails. the amount of kindness and comfort you have provided me with is deeply humbling. so thank you, thank you, a hundred times over, thank you. and after the first good cry on that first afternoon i've been tear-free. all is well on this end.