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10.08.2012

what i know at 27.


Screen Shot 2012-10-08 at 10.10.03 AM

these are things that i know to be true for myself, at this moment in time: 


never accept advice where love or matters of the heart are concerned.


all thoughts and feelings and beliefs are subject to change given the right experience.


sometimes you have to graciously and gracefully relinquish your grip.


don't berate the character of a man to make a girl feel better. it'll only make the girl feel worse.


the F train is far superior to the A.


i love Brooklyn just about as much as everyone thinks i can't possibly. which is to say, a lot.


loneliness is character building. it is also a bitch.


there is nothing interesting or noteworthy (or worth anything at all) about the notion of cool. cool and fine and totally okay is where the coward lives.


it is totally acceptable to wear your sunglasses on the subway if you are crying. otherwise, no.


no woman should ever stand in front of a man and ask him to lover her. literally or metaphorically. the man worth having will love you long before the question even crosses your mind.


love or happiness or in-the-mood is not a place that you get to and then live there happily ever after. these things are moving, movable places with shifting terrains that demand constant navigation with new eyes and courageous hearts.


nothing offers more protection than honesty, even if in the moment few things feel more vulnerable.


i have always learned best by making the worst sort of mistakes.


falling in love with a lot of the wrong guys is par for the course. this is not everyone's story, of course. but if it's yours, that's okay.


sometimes the blues really is just a slight breeze and then sometimes it is a motherfucking freight train barreling straight through.


every woman (and man) should have a really good therapist and a hairstylist who tells the truth.


we suffer small deaths as we age: the feeling you get as a child the night before your birthday. or on christmas morning. the wonder and sense that the world is different--and you in that world are different too. but the wonderful thing--the thing no one talks about--is that you find these feelings elsewhere in unexpected ways. christmas morning becomes a man--becomes his hand on the small of your back.


everyone has a ground zero. a phone call that splits the before and after. a moment that lives like a sinkhole and around which we then narrowly navigate all that follows. we are not alone in our suffering.


humility is damn appealing. and a man who offers his seat to a pregnant woman or an older woman or a man with a cane is damn sexy. you can't ever go wrong with flowers. and few things are more attractive than someone who pays for the dinner bill long after the first date.

48 comments:

megan. said...

love this so much. your words are so eloquent, yet raw. completely relatable and yet also, I am just in awe of you. you're one of my favs, to be sure.

Rhianne said...

this is beautiful, I just turned 27 too and I can relate to a lot of these things

Stereo said...

Having turned 27 not even a fortnight ago, I have to say that this post is something I will sit with for a long time. It's just lovely.

Dilan Dilir said...

really great post! love the picture :)

Rae said...

My very favorite post of yours I've ever read.
Thank you.

Emily said...

I love this, Meg. Your words (your thoughts, your wisdom) are always so strong and delicate at the same time. Tiny, hearty seeds that can grow the strongest of roots. Wishing you a year of joy and love.

Keiko said...

Meg, you have come a long way.
Seeing you evolve, and grow, and love deeper- well its been the greatest of gifts. And growing with you, but in separate places, different worlds- that right there is poetry.

and this right here, your words, they are life.

Happy birthday to you, beautiful soul! x

Kalyn said...

Beautiful, inspiring and just makes me feel less alone as a single gal in my mid-twenties with many lessons learned and lots left to discover. Thank you.

Hannah said...

happy belated birthday! man thought you just got 26... time flies by!

jackiek said...

this is wonderful. i especially love the one "everyone has a ground zero." so true.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant. I wish I knew these things at 27... I know them at 30 which is probably better than most.

Athalia said...

Oh my, your writing, so straight to the point and honest, brilliant.

http://athaliawrites.blogspot.co.uk/

pretty things and potty mouths said...

This post is beautiful. I think my favourite thing about getting older, is being able to step outside of myself, and evaluate what this world has taught me over the last year. Being very close in age, I feel that a lot of what you feel, holds the same weight in myself.

However, I have learned something about myself, that goes against the grain of your first and tenth notions. I'm not offering advice on love or matters of the heart, it's just beautiful to think that being so close in age, living in different corners of the world, and having experienced completely different lives, we can learn from one another. Your lessons have taught me to look at my own life in a new light, and have made me come to realize beautiful things about myself.

Having loved the same man for 10 years now, there are days when I have no choice, for the sanity and sake of my health and my heart, but to stand in front of my husband, and ask him to love me, in every sense of the word. And you know what? I have learned that this is natural, this is ok. When you have been with someone for so long, that they become a part of your everyday -- a part of yourself, you occasionally lose sight of that responsibility to be a constant source of love for them. Those initial feelings of excitement and romance don't go away, they just change as you grow together. It's always there, always within reach, and sometimes you just need a reminder -- both from your partner, and even for them. So when my heart wants and needs as much as my head does, I am ok within myself to stand in front of him, and ask him for it. After all, as his wife, it's my job to ask that of him when I need to, and it is his job, as my husband, to be that for me -- and it goes without saying, the other way around, always. And there is no one in this world, I would rather be that for.

Robby Spratt said...

I don't think I've mentioned this in a comment before, but my very favorite thing about your blog is sharing it with friends.
So often after reading one of your posts I will think to myself, "so-and-so really needs to read this."
And then I will text that person, or send them an email, and encourage them to seek out your words of wisdom.
I don't know how you do it, but you always seem to find the words to perfectly describe the deepest feelings that a woman (or man) can feel.
I'll be passing this post along to one of my friends too. :)

Megan Allen said...

This is beautiful, as always. Thank you for this. It's what I needed today.

Lottie Simm said...

when my husband pays for dinner it still makes me feel extra special :)

Jay said...

happy birthday sweetest meg!! hope you had a wonderful day :) best of wishes from norway

Diana said...

This post is perfection. The way you share your wisdom is always so enlightening for me because it causes me to think outside of my self and see things in new ways. Nevertheless, I may not have learned all of these things for myself yet, but I sure am excited to one day be able to understand where you're coming from per my own experience. We are all in this together and even though experiences, opinions, beliefs, etc. shape us differently, there are bits of wisdom suitable for just about everyone, and you definitely share those bits. Thank you so much for always opening up to your readers. You are just amazing!

Kaleigh said...

wow. happy belated & THIS will be printed & read & read & read....amazing! (and not only because i'll be 27 next month)

karajean said...

I agree about experiencing small deaths as we age, but the great thing about becoming a parent (should you ever decide to have a child) is that you get all those feelings back. It's like becoming a kid again, experiencing new and exciting things through their wonder-struck eyes.

Anacristina said...

love this. i just turned 19 this weekend so it's comforting to hear these thoughts from someone much wiser than me.

Happy birthday!

x's & o's
Anacristina
laughsandicecream.blogspot.com

katilda said...

i don't even know where to begin liking this post. thank you.

L.A. said...

Mmm. This is lovely. Isn't it funny how even after twenty seven years of smiles and sadness and laughter and tears and love, you're still not done learning? I'd say it's quite beautiful actually.

Captain Serenity said...

Oh my, this one is incredible. I got the phone call last November, and I probably will never fully recover. Your putting it into words helped me so much. i will forward this one to a few fellow ministers, and I would wager some of it will find its way into Sunday messages. happiest to one of my two fav writers. Peace.

Andrea Carol said...

I love this and YOU! You're such an amazing and inspiring writer (:

Anonymous said...

I don't know, except that this is true. and that at 21, I should listen to this.

Alice Harrington said...

This is my favourite post I have ever read on this blog. Thank you for reminding me about all these things. And happy birthday! x

christinerojas said...

You are everything and more my dear.

Britney McCoy said...

I love everything about this post.

Tana said...

this is so beautiful I could cry.

Tana said...

btw. Happy Belated Birthday!

Natalie said...

wisdom.

Isaac Lungu said...

I actually do not agree with this point: "never accept advice where love or matters of the heart are concerned." I think people in love are sometimes not objective enough to make sound decisions. It good to have stable friends to bounce things off and stay relatively objective.

Jaime said...

I love this! Love that the therapist and hairstylist should always tell the truth :-)

Janae Murphy said...

This is written so beautifully, with so much honesty. I love it.

Erin said...

beautiful. love so many of these...the first one struck me especially.

Maggie said...

This was wonderful.

Jo said...

so many truths in these words. beautiful, beautiful truths.

nancy said...

firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you had the most wonderful of days (the pictures would suggest it was a good one).
secondly, these gave me goosebumps, and some of them rang so truly it hurt a little bit. I love your bit about small deaths... what a comforting thing to read. I hope you know you're helping people. my other favourite was the one about loneliness. sometimes I think I need to feel lonely in order to better myself, and I can feel this in a room filled with people I love. I don't know what that means.

Jenni@Story of My Life said...

I just wanted to tell you that your words made me cry today, because they are just so dang beautiful... (and because I'm PMSing.. hehe). Hope you're doing well, pretty Meg!

Natalie said...

I am so blessed to have found and read your blog. Too many favorite words here to pick just a few!

Belinda said...

oh man, it feels like just yesterday i was reading your 26 list! happy birthday to you meg.

much love. x

Melissa said...

Thank you so much for writing

Mrs C ♥ said...

"Everyone has a ground zero."

I've had four this year unbelievably. When you're so immersed in your own sorrow, sometimes you forget that others feel the same way.

We are not alone.

Alice said...

I love this. And currently dealing with a break up, I have just reminded all of my buddies of point 4. You are fantastic, seriously, and I wish I had your sense

Yi Lin T said...

I love these! So perfect! xxx

Rachael said...

Happy belated birthday! I really enjoyed reading your life lessons thus far. As soon as I finished reading, The Cardigans song Lovefool came on my Pandora. The lyrics would drive you crazy...
So I cry, I pray and I beg
Love me love me
Say that you love me
Fool me fool me
Go on and fool me
Love me love me
Pretend that you love me

Wow.

AshCall said...

One of the most beautiful posts EVER!!