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4.04.2012

i often lose hours to youtube.

my friend kim gave me a mix cd. her friend derek had given it to her. the last song on it make me thing of marc cohn. and listening to walking in memphis tonight i was suddenly seventeen again.

i have to tell you i loved being seventeen. it was just before things got really complicated and just far enough into the challenges of life that i was brazen and bold in my response to them.

now all these years later, having really gone through the muck of it and feeling like i'm finally myself again--well tonight, listening to marc cohn, there came the thought:

i'm my seventeen-year-old-self again. twenty-six, yes. and with some scars to show, yes, that too.

but what i mean...

well, if i can carry the spirit of who i was at that young age when i stayed out late and smoked cigars and smiled freely--when i would drive the winding roads home with walking in memphis and silver thunderbird blaring and all the windows rolled down to the sill--if i can let the spirit of that serve as my base line---well, then i'll be okay.

the funny thing, now that i think back on it, is that was a time of in-between in my life. not sixteen, not eighteen. just about out of the house, but not quite. lots of gray.

all the time since i've so loathed the in-between, the unknown. but my seventeen-year-old-self, she didn't. she loved it.

huh.

that's the take-away.




(bonus: i totally dated a guy who looked like this. sans the shirt. though, the shirt would have been an awesome addition. don't even get me started on the chain attached to his belt. what are those called?).











13 comments:

stefanie said...

miss meg, i've only recently started following your little blog, but i already feel like i know you personally. and i adore you. your words bring a truth to my days that is so eloquent and refreshing amidst the superficial muck that i am constantly trudging through to find sincerity. and to stay genuine myself. thanks for that.

Coming Home Soon said...

Eh, yeah, I lose HOURS on youtube at least once a week! Love all of your Marc Cohn tunes, really took me back to my youth too! Thanks

Louise xo

Lottie said...

I remember being seventeen and looking back now it was such a great time definitely before things got more complicated.

colleen said...

17 was a fabulous age. i miss driving my virginia. though i do think my 17-year-old self would be really happy with where we are now. and thank you for including the peter gabriel - it's totally in the same category of "walking in memphis". somehow they always find their way onto the radio of a teenager.

Katie said...

I loved being seventeen too.

sharlyn emily said...

seventeen really was the best summer of my life!

Nicole said...

Oh Meg, I love this post. Recently a friend posted some blast from the past photos and I noticed that care free smile I haven't seen in quite sometime. Also, Salsbury Hill brings me back to windows down driving to the beach with my girlfriends!

Abigail Leigh said...

Dearest Meg,

I've followed your blog for quite sometime. And - I'm seventeen. I feel like I am on the verge of discovering everything that longs to be discovered. I want to act, I know that much, and sing. All this is to say that you inspire me. When you write of the muck of life it makes me want to live deeply. You are lovely.

P.S. Thank you for introducing me to The Head and the Heart. :)

Alex said...

Oh, Tegan and Sara. They can do no wrong.

Chicago girl moves on said...

The Marc Cohn belt thing made me laugh out loud. Lord.

LouBoo said...

Every now and then I go back and watch that Peter Gabriel clip as it is so much of my youth...and I'm 10 years older than you (plus 2 more lurking about!). I know what you mean about in between; what I am finding is that it's only when looking back do we appreciate whether it was a strong time. If things are bad, it's only afterwards that I see just how bad things got, and likewise good. It's all a lesson...like your take away thought. Lou x

LouBoo said...

Every now and then I go back and watch that Peter Gabriel clip as it is so much of my youth...and I'm 10 years older than you (plus 2 more lurking about!). I know what you mean about in between; what I am finding is that it's only when looking back do we appreciate whether it was a strong time. If things are bad, it's only afterwards that I see just how bad things got, and likewise good. It's all a lesson...like your take away thought. Lou x

Kate said...

Oh my gosh. My little brother spent a few weeks in Mississippi last summer selling fireworks, and they made it as far as Tennessee on the first day and he called me asking "Kate, is there, like, a main street in Memphis where everything is? What's the main drag we should check out?" I felt like such a failure of a sister, music-wise.