my friend kim gave me a mix cd. her friend derek had given it to her. the last song on it make me thing of marc cohn. and listening to walking in memphis tonight i was suddenly seventeen again.
i have to tell you i loved being seventeen. it was just before things got really complicated and just far enough into the challenges of life that i was brazen and bold in my response to them.
now all these years later, having really gone through the muck of it and feeling like i'm finally myself again--well tonight, listening to marc cohn, there came the thought:
i'm my seventeen-year-old-self again. twenty-six, yes. and with some scars to show, yes, that too.
but what i mean...
well, if i can carry the spirit of who i was at that young age when i stayed out late and smoked cigars and smiled freely--when i would drive the winding roads home with walking in memphis and silver thunderbird blaring and all the windows rolled down to the sill--if i can let the spirit of that serve as my base line---well, then i'll be okay.
the funny thing, now that i think back on it, is that was a time of in-between in my life. not sixteen, not eighteen. just about out of the house, but not quite. lots of gray.
all the time since i've so loathed the in-between, the unknown. but my seventeen-year-old-self, she didn't. she loved it.
that's the take-away.
(bonus: i totally dated a guy who looked like this. sans the shirt. though, the shirt would have been an awesome addition. don't even get me started on the chain attached to his belt. what are those called?).