dinner.

i had an almond-milk-latte for dinner, tonight. well, that and a large chocolate-chip cookie from the baked-goods section of whole foods. i mean, okay so it was vegan and surely that counts for something?  but in terms of sugar...loaded and isn't that the front i'm trying to cut back on?

funny thing is, i was actually quite hungry--the kind of odd sits-under-your-ribs-painful kind of hunger. but nothing spoke to me. i circled the salad bar, weight the couscous versus quinoa versus my usual go-to of crispy falafel bites. even wandered over to the pizzas.

not one thing appealed.

well, one thing: sugar.

it was stress. the stress called out for it. and for something warm to hold between the hands. the fact that i could dip the cookie into the warm drink? icing on the cake, icing on the cake.

it was my second latte of the day.

the first was mid-afternoon. an attempt to combat a cloying exhaustion. the second, proverbial icing for the stress sugar in cookie form.

forgive yourself this dinner. forgive yourself this moment. those were my thoughts standing in the middle of whole foods, readying to head downtown for the first rehearsal in the actual space.

and you know what? i did. immediately i did. i granted myself forgiveness. and few things have felt better.

after all, i had spent my day making pretty good choices (raw savory coconut rounds and all). and given that i wasn't holding a box of entemenan's pop-ems, i figured this choice wasn't all that bad. could be worse.

balance and moderation. and forgiveness.