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10.31.2011

studying the seasons.



it has been suggested to me that there are seasons to these lives we live. and that they aren't always clear and summer doesn't always follow spring and every once and again winter will yield more winter will yield more winter will yield more.

so i've been giving some thought to this season, to this season i'm in now. it's not clear whether it's winter or spring, summer or fall. but this i do know:

it is a season of strong women. a season in which i've been blessed by tremendously strong women. women who model friendship for me, who are driven, who take no prisoners, who laugh freely, and demand the very best. women who actually listen. intelligent, feminine, no-nonsense women.  i'd met women of this ilk before. in passing i'd met them, but suddenly i am surrounded by them. suddenly i have collected a whole group of them and few things in this life have felt so important (so totally and truly lucky) as that.

this is the season in which i crave simplicity. in which i long for clean lines and uncluttered floors. in which i, unfortunately, feel a half-stranger in my own home (but know {humbly and with gratitude} that feeling will pass).

this is the season in which an unexpected october snow-fall awakened something within. demanded i order a chai latte and watch the white accumulate while standing in the warm light of the corner's coffee shop. there's something to seeing and studying and loving that cold and that dark and that dim from under the subtle yellow lights of familiarity.

this is the season i dared leave the light for the snow. into the white.

this is the season i am surrounded by, swathed in, ambivalence.

this is the season i find solace in a cabinet stocked with spices.

this is the season in which i attempt forgiveness. of myself. for the past. for my mistakes. for all that abandoned, lost time.

this is a season of reckoning. of acceptance. of remembrance. oh yes, that's who i am. oh yes, for better or worse that's what i'm made of. oh right, that's a part of my story. still.





image by Carol Reed.

16 comments:

Marie said...

Beautiful, inspiring post. There is nothing that has effected my life more than the presence of strong, incredible women.
-Marie
So What If I Like Pretty Things

Arianna said...

this is amazing. a beautiful season.

jill said...

Sounds like an ideal autumn to me. Oh to have your skills with words!

debbiecutieface said...

lovely writing, as always<3

Rod and Alex - aka: "Rolex" said...

Sounds like you're in the right season for right now.

Alissa said...

The part about forgiving yourself? That's what I needed to read today. Exactly what I needed. Thank you.

Yvonne Anderson said...

Forgiveness of the self is a beautiful and true thing. It equals empowerment and growth and squeezing out of the box we sometimes place ourselves within.
Thanks for the post

bg said...

this post hit home tonight, thanks for that.

becky said...

I've missed you, Meg Fee. For this kind of wisdom and assurance and idea that we, women, are doing okay. (Despite how we berate ourselves--despite how we push).

And--I have to say--I'm a little jealous of that premature snowfall.

becky said...

I've missed you, Meg Fee. For this kind of wisdom and assurance and idea that we, women, are doing okay. (Despite how we berate ourselves--despite how we push).

And--I have to say--I'm a little jealous of that premature snowfall.

Kari said...

This is perfection. I have never heard of this, but it totally makes sense. May your seasons continue to teach you.

Mindy said...

i had to link to that last little bit tonight. the journey is our story and that's, for better or worse, what we are

thealwayscollective.tumblr.com

i also was looking back through old posts i'd missed while in turkey earlier, and saw some of the books that you'd purchased. please do tell us how they are! and if you're looking for a new read after those, check out the aleph by paulo coelho. he's a spiritual writer but has some beautiful things to say about reconnecting with our souls and learning the language of the universe.

Ramona said...

this is just beautiful!

Kate said...

I have to say, I'm jealous that you got snow so early. I love the winter.

Megan said...

I ran into this last night and remembered your (beautiful) post: http://carolreeddesign.blogspot.com/2011/09/gails-kitchen-sneak-peek.html

The photo is by Carol Reed.

taylor said...

that was beautiful.

completely inspired.