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7.01.2011

date a girl who reads.


it's been one of those weeks. one of those weeks where i've been feeling a little...less than. a little unworthy or unfilled or who knows...just not enough i suppose.

wednesday afternoon i found myself with nothing to do. so i took myself to the corner cafe and put pen to paper (so to speak) and as the words flowed out i thought, i have worlds within me. 

i have endless stores of worlds in the form of words. we all do. i may not have the perfect job or the dream man, but i am filled by words. and when all is said and done they satiate me in a way nothing else can.

so in trolling through blogs last night this hit a particularly poignant (and potent) note. 

(for the life of me i now can't remember where i read it, but if it's yours, you know it, email me and i'll give you some credit!)

Date a Girl Who Reads by Rosemarie Urquico 

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by God, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.










ps: happy fourth!!!!

60 comments:

Rochelle said...

My heart is overflowing with hope. Beautiful & much needed.

Lela said...

Perfect. I am a girl who reads - and writes - and lives life this same way. I'm so happy someone else can see the beauty in it!

wildchild said...

my favorite part is about giving her beautiful words. words are definitely love. i'd swoon if my benny gave me a book of poetry. a little neruda, a little whitman. i'd melt.

Ashley Lane Hamlin said...

I posted it on my blog. Didn't write it, though, Rosemary Urquico did.

It helped me too. I understand where you are, I am in the same spot.

JulieElizabeth said...

Yes! :D

Micaela said...

BREATHLESS. this left me breathless.

this part especially spoke to me:

" When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are."


breathless.

Alisha said...

Aww, I love this! My favorite line - "If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already." I hate when I get caught up reading and my coffee gets cold. Thank goodness for microwaves, right?!

Caitlin said...

Wow. I laughed and teared up all at the same time. I love this. The whole time I found myself smiling. It's all so true. And so beautiful.

Jenny said...

"She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are." I need to work on this part. I always feel like I've lost a best friend when a book ends. It's devastating.

Laura said...

Ah! I found this several months ago too and posted it on my blog because I fell so in love with it. It's simply stunning. Glad to see so many people appreciate it.

Grace said...

Love this! Praying my future hubster reads and loves this too! :)

Katie said...

Do you think somewhere there is just a clan of nice guys that would truly like to date girls that read, girls that think, girls that think deeply and care and love freely and powerfully?

I'm beginning to lose faith. And I'm only 21. Ridiculous.

Mal Mecham said...

Oh my heavens. Meg. You. are. inspired. I needed this today. Thank you thank you thank you. Please don't be offended of I steal this for my blog because it's too good not to share with as many people as possible.

Johanna said...

This is one of myt favorite texts ever written. So inspiring.

I'm so happy for you (and somewhat jealous) that you're being able to write. Nothing is as therapeutic for me.

DINAH CLAIRE said...

"Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world." I am not an avid reader but I am a fierce lover of words and oh, that is so true.

Britti said...

All time favorite.

Bee Sarah Lee Bailey said...

hey lovely ! i emailed you! i have not been on top of things... sorry about that... this made my day. i hope your heart is doing well!
xoxo, bee

Caroline said...

Oh my goodness, this gives me chills. I think I need to some how make this into a print for my wall, or something. Thank you so much for sharing!

becky said...

Whilst I can't claim that I wrote it or that you saw it on my blog--I sure did blog about this a while ago
(http://hummingbeepensthepaperback.blogspot.com/2011/02/other-peoples-words-again-again.html) I am so glad it spoke to you like it did to me :)

Jennifer said...

Have you seen this? The ironic/"man's voice" version of the same message...http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/dont-date-a-girl-who-reads/

Amanda said...

This. is. phenomenal. Thanks for sharing!

Emma said...

I love this. It left me with a lot of hope and a little sadness.

Danielle Josette said...

Sometimes it's scary how much your writing (and the quotations you choose) resonate with me. This is another fine, fine example. I read, and I wish I was a writer. Maybe one day.

Sarah McCabe said...

I have to admit. I cried a little bit while reading this. It is utterly brilliant and beautiful. And so, so true. Thank you for posting it (I've since shared it with all my bookish friends).

Anait said...

No matter how often I read this, it never ceases to take my breath away. when my boyfriend read this, he said "this is so YOU"....and it really is. it is utterly brilliant.

Kate said...

Oh my God, that was amazing. Thank you so much for sharing.

by r. said...

Favorite Line:
"Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by God, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book."
Yes, yes, unfortunately (or fortunately?) yes.

Arianna said...

Or better yet, date a girl who writes. LOVE.

MellyB said...

I read it twice, that good. My favorite part was "kids with strange names and even stranger tastes."

Please let my kids be eccentric and ok with it. Please let me still be walking in the night snow with my honey in 50 years. Thanks for posting.

Ashley said...

i really love this so much! it brings happy tears.... <3

Anonymous said...

love it!

Ana* said...

this is touching!! so beautiful!

Emily said...

I read this a few weeks ago and literally cried (it's been an emotional month for me)! I love that someone stood up for us reading and writing women!! Happy Fourth to you, my dear! xoxo

The Rookie said...

I love it. Every word. Every single word. Thanks for sharing, Meg.

Mackenzie said...

oh how i love this! i read this every few months as a reminder. thanks for reminding me to read it again. i needed it today :)

becca28 said...

This is amazing. Thanks so much for posting. I re-posted on my blog. Made my day.

Madeline said...

I used to be that girl! This makes me want to go back to my old habits of reading everything all day long, and forgetting about the real world :)

Love reading your blog so so much.

www.madelinenewhouse.blogspot.com

Taylor said...

I absolutely love this. I think I've read it a dozen times and it's just so easy on the eyes.

I posted it on my blog a little while ago. I know you read it on mine, because you know I'm only the 10th person to comment that it was on their blog. And I'm your favorite! RIght, right? ... Not at all? Alrighty then. I can take it.

mia said...

I have read this before and absolutely love it. It is so true, and it makes me feel justified in my love for literature. Not that I need to feel justified, but it's nice to see that other people feel that kind of passion as well!

April said...

Thank you so much for sharing!!! I hope next week is better for you.

dull boy said...

yep, a woman who reads and writes would certainly appeal to most men.



(but, being a nymphomaniac would also help)

heisschic said...

makes me want to- someday, in the distant future- have sons just so i can give them this advice.

quality quote about quality women.

sheilainafrica said...

perfect. wonderful. and girl, I think I might just have to announce this from the roof tops.

Emily said...

This is lovely. But my favorite lines are yours: "i have endless stores of worlds in the form of words. we all do. i may not have the perfect job or the dream man, but i am filled by words. and when all is said and done they satiate me in a way nothing else can."

The Childlike Empress said...

i love it!
i see myself in so many of the sentences and wonder how the writer knew me...

Gisela said...

You made my day...thanks for this post!!! I love it...and I love your blog!

Greetings from Munich

Erin said...

i Luv this! i was thinking all the way through it "or a girl who writes..." and then i read the last line and thought, "YES!" :)

christine said...

Except in the Twilight Series... ha ha snort!

I love this! It's so true. I have learned so much about life and myself through reading. For instance, I sometimes ask myself, "What would Jane Austen write for this?" whenever I'm stuck in an awkward social situation and believe it or not it helps.

I want to date a man who reads. Who sits on the other end of the couch with my feet in his lap and just reads along with me, and who at times will stop to read aloud something he really likes in a book we've both read a million times... Yep, I want a man who reads.

Alex said...

This made me smile. Love it.

Jo said...

I can't remember where I first read this, but it is one of the best things I have ever read! I love it more each time I read it!! :)

Kelly said...

LOVE this so much : )

Jennifer Rod said...

i loved this so much! i was captivated by every line and it suddenly assured me of me. i felt secured in my own oddness. thanks for sharing!

Keiko said...

Have you read, Don't date a girl who reads? Just as good.
http://mols.tumblr.com/post/7448177940

eRmOdi said...

This is wonderful! Thank you thank you thank you!

Nicole said...

This is beautiful I love it!

cariannlyle said...

Simply perfect. I too am fulfilled by words (as are many other Girls Who Read), and this makes me want to drop everything I'm doing to read all eight books on my nightstand!

amy said...

i love this and i re-posted it. it almost made me cry while sitting right here at my desk in the office. thank you.

love amy
@ http://amykeevy.blogspot.com/

amanda said...

wow i'm so happy i stumbled upon your blog!!! that was such an amazing thing to read. definitely re-posting. ahh!

xo,
amanda

little-tranquility.blogspot.com

Rachel said...

I LOVE this. It made my day, thanks for posting it!

Mike said...

Never in this poem does it propose one single benefit to the man...only nagging instructions that placate insecurities. It would be like a man writing a poem telling women to date guys that watch lots of sports.

Buy her coffee (with artificial creamer, GROSS) Guess she likes to read but doesn't like to eat huh? The quickest way to a mans heart is still through his stomach.

Lie to her.
Fail her.
Buy her books.

Not once in a while. All the time. Constantly. For every holiday and occasion...because that is all she loves to do. Live in someone elses world instead of enriching hers and the world of others. How about asking for a french press so she can make her own coffee instead of waiting in line with a bitchy scowl?

Make her tea when she wakes up sobbing at 2AM...over a story. Gee, that sounds great, I wonder how she'll act when something really terrible happens in your lives together. Sounds like a strong partner.

Propose on Skype? Now that sounds like a deep and powerful moment, almost as good as sharing a passionate kiss after you pop the question when she's got 103 fever. Great.

At least she sniffs old yellow pages. That was the only saving grace. If she sniffs old yellow books she might be a little kinky.

BOO.

Just an opinion from one man who reads and writes.