okay. i give in. the time is yours, good body, get better.

last month there was an incident with a gun. in which i found myself in close proximity to one. very close. not that it was pointed at me, or directed at me. but it was a loose cannon a mere three feet away from me.

and then last week i was nearly hit by a car. i heard the screeching of breaks and looked up the hill to see what had happened only to discover the bumper just a few inches form my legs.

and all i could think was... there will be a third. i am nothing if not superstitious. and things come in threes.

but camilla, bless her heart, told me these things weren't so much about near-death-experiences as they were a way for the universe to tell me to slow down, look around, take care--to look after myself.

and if that was the impetus--this slow down notion--then perhaps this flu has been the coup. the final third.

it came on so quickly. that was the startling, frightful part. it washed over me in an hour--less maybe.

but i've been feeling so strong lately, so healthy that i thought it wouldn't last. low fever? neck pain? tightness in my chest? they'll be gone in the morning.

and so i'd wake feeling better and set about cleaning my room because there was time--for the first time in a month and a half there was time! and i was not going to stay in bed wasting it. so i'd clean the apartment for fifteen minutes, get exhausted, lay on the couch and then (for the most part) go about my usual life. because the fever was so low. and really i was fine.

and soon the fever was gone. and i was well.

but new york got hot. (hotter than texas, hot). so hot that i missed the return of my raised temperature.

and so when i got home last night and thought, huh, i really don't feel well and did my little dance with the thermometer, i was forced to reckon with camilla's prophecy: i need to slow down. i need to take care. i need actually give my body this extra time i've found to be sick. to do nothing but lie in bed. and drink lots of water. and watch netflix on demand.

i can't worry about cleaning my room. or the apartment. or my desktop.

i just need to be sick. to give in.

of course i'm gonna go to the doctor first. because a week of a fever is a bit much, no?