i found myself sobbing in central park last friday. big, loud walloping sobs as i plodded through the falling snow.
and it felt so damn good.
i cry often in new york. at the most inopportune times. in the strangest--and most public--of places. my saving grace is that i'm a quiet crier. small, silent tears.
but on friday, in the park, amongst all that snow and white and absolute quiet i unleashed some powerful sobs. it seemed safe there. as though all that space and white would quickly swallow them up.
it wasn't a sadness that prompted the tears. well, yes, i suppose it was sadness. but it was the sadness of someone else. a stranger. and a stunning display of humanity that i wasn't meant to see. and that person's unfurling stirred my own residual silt. and just exactly as new york was transformed into a snow-globe, i witnessed my own inner swirling. of past emotions--failings and frustrations and countless mistakes. and it seemed so dirty this inner silt. so dark, so different than the the white before me, the white beneath my feet.
but as i walked, and as i sobbed, i felt the dark pieces fall out of me. and no, i didn't look back. but i knew. knew the snow swallowed them whole.
for me snow, more than anything else, is about healing and rebirth.
29 comments:
so, so good. I love the rawness of this...a past time of mine, similar in nature, wallowed up in my chest as you described this moment. How freeing. xo
so beautiful.
i feel that way about tears in the summer heat and am cleansed by wiping them away from my hot cheeks.
white magic
happy new year meg.
love the new{?} banner...
xo
andrea
{whispering in the still whiteness}
i used to cry all the time when i lived in salzburg. sometimes sadness, sometimes just the snow itself made me cry, sometimes merely from the city's beauty.
the snow is so innocent and pure, which makes it harder to deny ones feelings and you just have to let it out. a good cry does feel good afterwards though!! best wishes from you know where :)
yes, yes, YES it is.
crying always leaves me feeling better, it is amazing what some good salt water can do for the soul.
this is so true. sometimes for me just seeing other people live there life and seeing the beauty around me makes me burst into tears.
I feel this way every time I allow myself to actually cry, those big, gasping, gulping sobs you so perfectly described. I tend to be a quiet crier not because it's my nature, but because I'm usually doing everything within my power to NOT cry, to just hold it in a little longer.
The feeling of finally letting myself go, breathe, release the heavy emotion in my chest...freeing.
Thanks for sharing, Meg.
Crying is so good for the heart and soul. It's a sign of a soft and pliable heart that is willing to let God do his work.
wow. wow. wow. adore this. i,too, am a public park crier. i found myself bawling in chicago's grant park, in between the trees and buckingham fountain among all the sculptures. and it was probably the most beautiful day that entire year, in the middle of may. but it was the best cry ever. they have that effect of being oddly the worst and best things ever, right? funny how that works out.
beautifully said. there's something about snow that seems to clean the soul.
really really pretty
Lately, I've been blaming it on pregnancy; but let's face it: I am a weeper. And it feels so, so good.
wow. very powerful. i have always felt haunted by the silence of snow. i love it.
I have a few very powerful memories of sobbing while walking down the streets of Manhattan. Fat, cathartic tears. Because I could.
I would welcome a good sob...
...beautifully written
i've cried in public in nyc myself a few times. the human condition can do that to you! i love your blog header!
www.thebrightbit.com
i once read a quote that said, when it snows you can choose to either shovel or make snow angels.
i think the same can be said for life!
you're such a talented writer!
I love how crying can make everything ok again. It makes it so easy to let everything go.
I hope you're ok now :)
oh, that is just how i never knew that i felt about snow! It really is healing, isn't it?
http://alongroute65.blogspot.com/
oh, that is just how i never knew that i felt about snow! It really is healing, isn't it?
http://alongroute65.blogspot.com/
awe, this is beautiful. I often feel better after a big huge cry.
i LOVE crying alone & in public.
Its like so cathartic.
No one dare asks you if you are ok.
& there is something so healing about just letting it out in public, not hiding in your room.
I love to cry it out while driving.
also I hope whatever made you cry, the crying made it better.
& you look hot in that picture.
-theMRS.
mmm beautiful writing, as always.
where were you when i was in high school? those years would have been so much easier, simpler, with your words around.
oh my gosh, i am so in love with your writing. :)
I Don't even have the words to tell you how this post made me feel, happy, sad, connected etc etc etc
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