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11.09.2010

FED: small victories. and shifting priorities!

i took the bus back from new jersey in the late afternoon on satuday. i wanted to take a physique class before the delicious quiet and day of rest that is sunday.

i don't remember much about the class. except that, it was crowded and i stood next to some girl who must have been a dancer. i know this because when we were working on our seats (butts and surrounding territory) and we have to shoot our leg out from the side of our body and mine starting shaking and didn't want to get anywhere close to the necessary position she just popped her's right out there. i mean...it was like...shoop. and i was like...oh, shit.

but what strikes me most about that class is that afterwards i devoured my post-class-new-tradition green apple.

i don't like apples. they're not my thing. never have been. but the studio has them in a glass bowl and i know that they're good for me and (let's be honest) wanting to get my money's worth, i always grab one. i usually suffer through about half of it. suffer, no? but survive. i eat as much as i can handle. and then i move one.

but on saturday evening i was thirsty. really thirsty. and i'd just read some article about eating more water (yes, eating) and knowing those little green suckers were chock-a-block full of the stuff i reached for one, sunk my teeth in, and oh the delicious juice-filled-thing that it was! i enjoyed it in the lobby, waiting for the elevator, during the ride down to the street.

one one of the eight floors between physique and the lobby another girl hopped on--she too with green apple in hand. i recognized her from class. i wasn't (and still am not) sure why she was on another floor and my confusion led way to conversation. and she asked me how long i'd been taking classes and where i come from to get there. and then of course, the question that everyone asks, had i seen results. 


and i understand the question. i do. i get it.

i politely side-stepped it with, you know. yes, i'm sure. but i'm trying very hard not to focus on that.

what i really wanted to say was, i'm enjoying this apple! loving it, in fact! i'm halfway to the core, my usual stopping-spot, and i'm gonna keep going. this is the success--this is the result--this green apple, right here, and my LOVE for it! 


there's always a moment in class when the instructor asks us to reconnect with the reason we came today. asks us to imagine how we want our seat to look in our jeans--how long and lean we want our arms to be and on and on and such and such. and i'm inevitably the girl in the corner, pulsing my squats--legs shaking away--thinking: bone density, bone density. i'm building bone density! or my heart, my heart. i'm strengthening my heart--reducing my risk for heart disease, obesity, diabetes and on and on and such and such.


don't get me wrong. i want those long, lean limbs. and yes, i want the seat that looks dang good in my blue jeans. but if that's what i think about in that moment that class gets really hard, well, i'd stop. because those reasons alone are just not good enough. they just don't do it for me. but, my health? well, that's another story all together. hell, i'd pulse those squats to kingdom-come to keep my heart pulsin' on its own.

and so i may not be able to measure how how much bone density i've gained, but i can see how my love for a green apple has shifted. and holy moly, that's something.


16 comments:

sara said...

i love everything about this post
you have a wonderful blog

Brittan said...

"i mean...it was like...shoop. and i was like...oh, shit."

hahaha let's be friends, meg!

also, you are doing something i've been trying to get myself to do for awhile now. the whole butt looking good in jeans thing doesn't do it for me either. i need to start focusing on my health. my body looks decent enough but only i know just how out of shape i am right now. i worry about my heart and my bones and my lungs all the time. it's time for me to bite the bullet and start pushing myself a bit. also, i love apples. if you can stomach one for breakfast, you will feel fantastic all day. i used to force myself but now i wake up craving them.

Erin said...

Good for you! Strength and health are absolutely the best reasons to get into a fitness routine.

~BB~ said...

You are so inspiring! As someone who has to choke through apples myself {even though they are sweet and tasty} I understand what a wonderful feeling it is to crave something so good for your body. I actually feel inspired to have one for lunch now...thanks for sharing!

~B

Laura Marie said...

whenever i get to the bottom of your posts, i always just want to high five you... (that's a good thing.)

Brittany said...

love this. and totally agree with laura marie.

katemargaret said...

1. love
2. have been taking classes similar to yours for most of 2010 - and whenever the instructors start to talk about how great we will look in our jeans it un-inspires me. i don't think it is the right reason for anyone to be working out and those words alone likely lead many of us to 'failure'.
3. i too have learned to love apples, not because they are delicious but because they feel like an accomplishment! the green ones are my favorite...

The Childlike empress said...

so honest, so lovely and refreshing, as per usual....

christine said...

I love this post! It really is about feeling better, getting stronger and becoming healthy.

I wish there were a Physique class near me, but in the meantime it's Pilates Barre for me. And I feel those leg shakes there and watch the dancers pop their legs up and think, "Someday that could be me."

christine said...

I love this post! It really is about feeling better, getting stronger and becoming healthy.

I wish there were a Physique class near me, but in the meantime it's Pilates Barre for me. And I feel those leg shakes there and watch the dancers pop their legs up and think, "Someday that could be me."

Corinne said...

I love this post. I love the little milestones, which really, are big deals. I love the celebration of life. Thank you for posting. Thank you for your words, ideas, and support.

I have an apple that has sat on my shelf for a good week or two now. I hope it is still good!

julianne rose said...

i'm so impressed by you! i have to admit that i've never gotten back into "official" exercise ever since my addiction to it as part of my anorexia (i hike and walk all day instead, literally! haha :). i tried a few times in the last few years, but it was too easy to get trapped in the mindset again. so i am oh so happy you are able to do this and have such an incredible perspective! you are my hero!

Andrea said...

i read this post the other day and couldn't stop thinking about it, so i came back to comment :). i love the reason to do things is for health and not looks - so true and so much more rewarding! i love your blog, thanks for writing.

Kelly said...

thank you so much for this post and your amazing, positive attitude. it is so inspiring and motivating!

Marisa said...

I love this. I have been training for a 1/2 (dec 13th!!) and I have found myself focusing more on my health, than fitting into skinny jeans. Just yesterday I was amazed at how easily I was able to run 6 miles now. The joy and rush that came from recognizing my body was capable and kicking ass was incredible....

keep it up lady! The body is a beautiful, kick ass creation!

Michal said...

you inspire me.