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10.18.2010

physique 57: a two week update for you.

looks good, no?


there have been two times in the last few weeks when i have forgotten to eat.

and i never forget to eat. not ever.

because i really like food. like, a lot.

but twice i've had the thought to grab breakfast. and then i'm out the door and i realize there's nothing in my stomach but i don't really have time to stop and think about it so i just keep going.

and this is how i know that i'm busy. i mean. really, really busy.

my schedule is color-coded for the first time in my life.

i have a color for babysitting. and a color for my new job. at another restaurant. which i have so many feelings about. because i'm starting to feel like it's time to jump-start my life. and so while i'm thankful for the work and the money and the surprisingly kind people, it's another restaurant. another restaurant. and hostess, babysitter, these are not careers i want to pursue. i want to be more. but...well...this is another tale fore another day. i digress. the point is i have a color for each of my many jobs and i have a color for exercise.

i'm in the middle of the monthly unlimited at physique 57. and i'm trying to get to class four to five times a week. and i don't exactly live close to either studio so it's always an event. just to get there it's an event. then there's the issue of finding a class that works around my many jobs.

this is all to say that right now my life feels a bit like a jig-saw puzzle. how can i make it all fit?

and so it would be easy to cut down on the exercise.

but i can't. i won't. nope. i love it.

there. i said it.

holy moly. i love it.

and i know it's good for me. even if it makes walking up and down the stairs difficult at times. even if i'm sore all over (at times). even if i'm absolutely, completely, unutterably ravenous, all. the. time. (which makes the fact that i've twice forgotten to eat all the more bewildering).

you want to know why i like it?

well. it's like the class takes everything i've worked so hard to learn over the last couple of years and makes it tangible. physicalizes it. it is metaphor made manifest in my body.

1. i can't compare myself to anyone else. i want to. and i try to. often. but at the end of the day the journey is my own. it doesn't matter if my leg is higher than that of the girl next to me--that doesn't mean a damn thing. no one else knows if i've gotten better or can feel if i'm curling my abs in a way that i've never done before. success is personal.

2. as you continue class after class, the pain doesn't cease. but it changes. it becomes tolerable. you can sit in it (or squat in it, as it turns out. and you will. oh my god, you will) for ten seconds then twenty then thirty. and isn't that just like life? we learn to tolerate the ups and downs--the departures from the base line. we learn to run into those moments, to really dig into them. because those are the moments of great change. and growth. and once we learn to really fully experience those moments things become a bit easier. a bit more exciting. a bit more... worthwhile.

did i say a bit? i meant a sh*t-ton.

i'm not going to tell you that the class has transformed my body in the little over two weeks i've been doing it. and i'm not going to post before and after pictures (as it turns out, there is a limit to how much i'm willing to put up on the internet)  because it's not really about that. yes, while the possibility of thinner thighs is endlessly exciting (though i think it's gonna take a bit longer than two weeks)  it's about my health. physical and mental. it's about increasing bone density and cognitive function. it's about a sense of personal accomplishment. and self-worth. self-worth more than anything else.




(picture from new saturday morning tradition of post-physique whole foods health-bar lunch)


ps: GO YANKS!

24 comments:

thereflectiveself said...

Good for you Meg. You have your priorites in order. It sounds like you have it all together in the midst of the chaos life can sometimes be. Exercising is about health. Once you get into it, the strength you develop is far more wonderful than the inches you loose. Strength feels so much better than thinness. Keep at it!!

kara lynn said...

meg you are looking so great girl!

and i need to get on that exercise band-wagon again. because it is most definitely medicine for my mind and body. ah you inspire me!

Camilla Leila said...

you go girl!! i wish we had this class here. I'm doing the swimming thing, but I find it so hard NOT to compare myself to my olympic fiance (weird to say that, yes) and my rockstar swimmer little sister. because there i am splashing, and partially drowning in the water cause i'm too tired to remember how to flip turn...

...but i'll keep going. because it's about health. like you said. physical and mental.

chels.e. said...

you could not have said it better.
making physical activity a reaccuring part of your schedule is hard, especially when there are so many other things that you could be doing, but once you make that committment to 'write' in physical activity your life changes. i am no fitness fanatic (by any means) but my body and mind thank me every day for being active and taking on challanges.
-keep it up, and best of luck!

Shell said...

you got it together girl, the sky is your limit and even then i like to think not even the sky is the limit :)

xox

Shell

http://tomberamoureuxde.blogspot.com/

Laura Marie said...

1. so happy that you've found something that gives you purpose... because really, that's all we're looking for right? all that really drives us.

2. i LIVE for that couscous... as in, have to stop myself from not eating it 3x a week.

Brittany said...

thanks for reminding me that i should always make time for exercise. your schedule sounds even busier than mine these days, and you still manage to do it, so i can too! and yay for whole foods salad bar. yum!

Melissa B said...

You couldn't have a better "after" picture than this one... we can definitely see that you're glowing, smiling, and enjoying your a tasty and healthy meal.

I am sure I'm am not the only reader who can relate to what you're going through; from exercising and thighs to having jobs we used to have before our degrees and before our 20s. You inspire us with your beautiful writing and the positive energy that shines through each story you tell us, even when you write of tough times.

xoxo

Toni said...

Love this! And I loved your Sunday and Monday mornings :) I love that I can always to connect to what you write. So inspiring! Thank you!

Alexandra said...

Love this. Skinny thighs or whittled waist, you can really see the physique 57 changes in your face! And isn't that the most important thing- that your face can radiate the happiness?
maybe I need to start doing physique- Natalie's in my ward, this could be a good idea.

Still read your blog religiously...via the google reader. But I've become a bit busy, hence lack of commenting.
So glad you're doing well! and since I'm in NYC, maybe we'll run into each other!

Cas said...

Two cents:
As for careers...
I used to be a wanderlust.
Small jobs.
And then I rushed into a "career."
Because I felt the pressure.
Thing is.
Careers and More are completely different things.
My career didn't help me find that more that I was so desperately searching for.
"More" comes after you've found yourself.
After you've searched.
And experienced.
I'm finding more.
And I think you are too.
So don't rush.
Look, and attempt and try.
But, essentially... let it come.

http://wellhellotherelover.blogspot.com

Margaretta said...

ps GO RANGERS!!!!

--from a Texas reader.

naomi megan. said...

i love you meg fee!

denise said...

i think i need to join a class.... it sounds so fulfilling. i need an outlet right now.


but i'm too scared to join.

JKreids said...

I've been wondering when you'd shout out to the yankees... 'twas a lovely RANGERS win last night. :)!!

I love what this exercise has done for you! It IS a lot like life. It gets harder but if you don't give up, it becomes easier.

Ashley said...

Can I just say you are inspiring and pretty darn amazing! So happy for you that things are just going wonderful for you. This class seems so awesome I really wish we had one like it out here! :)

Alexa Yupangco said...

I still think that you're one of the most inspiring bloggers out there. I was fortunate to find your blog and will always be an avid follower.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to take those two bullet points, Numbers 1 and 2, print them nice and large and post them on my mirror.They really are a good reminder for anything for any challenge we give ourselves in life.

r. said...

You are adorable. Just had to say that. I've always loved exercise but haven't done much for the last three years and I've been thinking I need to change that. So thanks for the inspiration!

becky said...

I wish I liked exercise...

Camilla Leila said...

p.s. YOU LOOK GOOOOOOOOOD. if you come visit all my hot foreign swimmer friends will be DROOLING.

Becca said...

I like your thoughts so much, girl.
Working hard and trying to figure things out, and EXERCISE! Yay! It's tough in an incredible way.
Go you!

Roxy Te said...

I'm so jealous of your physique 57 routine! They don't offer it in my town, but I would love to try it. I also love your attitude...I definitely go to the gym for the wrong reasons sometimes..at least I'm going!

Jennifer M. said...

I love color-coded calendars! ;)