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thanks, mom. (in advance. way, way, way, in advance).

my cousin got married last weekend. i've spent many hours perusing all her photos, wishing i could have been there. my father told me all about it over the phone and i jokingly asked him if he took notes, after all, i would be getting married one day.

he very seriously responded, that yes, in fact he'd been stowing away ideas.

this is part of an alarming trend i've noticed: my mother's voice jumping two octaves in response to the admission that i'd been asked on a date. or standing in the middle of banana republic as said mother probes friends about single, eligible sons. and then there's my favorite--the critique of all facebook profile pictures, because lord knows it will be my photo (on facebook, no less) that snags me a man.

and really i suppose it's for the best that there's no wedding near. because i can't decide if i'll want a quick trip to city hall, a day at the vatican, an evening in the tuscan countryside, or a hudson river valley farm wedding. there are just so many places, so many ideas, so many things i'd like to do.

and then there's the issue of the dress.

oh, the dress.

when i first arrived here in utah i'd spend my mornings at the gym.
and from 9 till 10 on the learning channel is none other than say yes to the dress.

you know it, don't you?
you must.

where women from all over go in search of the perfect dress, for that perfect day.

well. hmph. now take my desire for about 500 different wedding locals. amplify that by 1,000 and you'll have some inkling of how i feel about wedding gowns/dresses/ensembles.


carolina hererra, unknown, reem acra


the only thing i know for certain is it won't be terribly traditional. classic as hell--timeless, yes, but just a we bit offbeat.

the whole point of this post (which unfortunately i've gotten very distracted from) was to say (essentially) this:

so in watching say yes to the dress i've been struck again and again by mothers who are nothing less than heinous. who make the day about them. who choose the dress. and refuse to listen to their daughters. and then you watch as the poor girls have nervous breakdowns as they realize they are terribly misunderstood. and on and on and on.

and i've sent up countless prayers of thanks for a mother who knows me. and because she loves me, really loves me, she'll always let me choose. the choice will be mine. (and with my track record of choosing, the fact that she'll still let me is...remarkable).

so mom, this is to say, i look forward to the day when we'll go in search of the dress. together. and thanks (in advance) for how graciously you'll allow me the final say.

image credits:
1. Braedon Photography
via Once Wed of
2. unknown sources for these three photos.
the first dress is carolina herrera.
the second is unknown.
and the third is reem acra.
3. Our Labor of Love Photography
via Once Wed of


off switch said...

this makes me smile so much. i love reading your thoughts, meg fee. really i do. and i completely agree. i send out an extremely advanced thank you to my mom, too. because the pride she has for me and appreciation for my choices is amazing, so much so that planning a wedding could only be fun. xo.

Kaylia Payne said...

I'm actually in the middle of planning my wedding, and I didn't realise how lucky I have been with my parents until today. I love reading your blog, it's like you take what a lot of us are thinking and feeling and write it a million times better than we could :p

Nikki and Collin said...

I love these photos.

D&D said...

tearing at work!
i have to start reading this at home.

faryle said...

My sisters and I could watch Say Yes to the Dress all day. Okay, okay, we may have done that last weekend.

We had almost this same conversation while watching an episode the other day. While none of us are anywhere close to getting married, we've all made a pact to be supportive of the others' personal style when looking for dresses.

e. said...

i love that show. and i also watch it with my sisters and my mom. we are sort of addicted.

Sarah said...

I have serious wedding idea indecision. There are so many ideas I love. I'm hoping that once I'm actually engaged only one or two options will still seem like such a good idea. Because the ideas won't just be about me anymore, they'll be about an "us." Me and my husband. Who we are separately and together.

olivia rae said...

aww. this is really sweet. i feel the exact same way about my mom. in fact, i think sometimes she knows and understands me better than i know myself...


Taylor Yves said...

i'm glad you have such a good relationship with your mom. our parents were a dream for our wedding planning! although i'd venture to hope more brides include their family, because a wedding is about so much more than two people. and meg, you will pick out the most perfect dress, i know it.

Sara said...

As a fellow Say Yes to the Dress lover, I am always frustrated about the controlling mothers on the show. Great post and a great message!

Jacob C. said...

this post is great!

Celeste said...

love this post. i watch 'say yes to the dress' all the time because the dresses are so lovely- but i really can't stand the people who go for "support" and just end up hindering the bride from getting what she loves. i'm really grateful to have people in my life that would support me and what i would want :)

Sarah said...

Hi Meg! Love this post! We wished you were there too with us. The day was lovely! As a girl who said yes to her dress at that very place I can't agree with you more and can't wait for you to have the same experience I had with my Ma too! See you when you are back in the city!

Mandee lost her individuality. said...

ugh... horrible flashbacks of the two months i spent watching my mom plan my wedding. The dress was the only thing that was my choice(not including the groom).