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and palm to palm is holy palmer's kiss.

she was over men. over the idea of it. or maybe just overwhelmed by the idea of it.
she was tired and exhausted and intimidated into exhaustion.
wanted nothing to do with dating or meeting or having to smile.
didn't want to feign a certain level of interest.
suddenly loneliness didn't seem quite so lonely.
but preferable. safe.

but oh how she longed to feel a boy's hand in her own. just that. that simple act. the warmth and touch. mutual touch. and innocence.
yes, that was it, she longed for the innocence.
for the time before. when fingers intertwined was enough.
more than enough.

oh to go back to a time when the holding of hands was everything.


Jennifer M. said...

Ahhhh... yes I dream of this too. This is such a beautiful reminder of hope. Thank you, I needed that today. I've been feeling particularly depressed about my singleness this weekend.

And thank you for the Romeo and Juliet reference. I've always loved that story, both reading and watching any of the various movies version. Such a bittersweet and innocent love story.

Tatiana said...

I just wanted to let you know that I've been following your blog for a little while now and while I'm always in awe of your posts, this one in particular really summed up a lot of what I've been thinking since the beginning of the year. Thank you so much for taking what's been jumbled up in my head and putting it into such beautiful words!

Beck Beck said...

I miss the innocence, too. This was lovely. Thank you for your blog, it truly brightens my day.

Mary Grace said...

This is so beautiful. If you published a book, I'd definitely buy it.

Anonymous said...

wow-- so lovely. so much truth resides in this-- innocence, young, simplicity-- love it.

Wisdom + Understanding said...

hello sweet meg, you are destined for companianship, don't forget that.
also - the last time you quoted r&j i wanted to write this, but thought not to because you seem so genuinely love the romance of the play - but... now i want to divulge! My favourite moment in my Shakespeare course (as an English major!) was when I realized Shakespeare is actually mocking love (moreso young love) in R&J and essentially says that all love and sex leads to is violence and death, yet we see R&J as one of the greatest love stories told because it reads as such on the surface. Then again, that was his brilliance. Hope all is well xoxo

Fairfield said...

I don't think I've held a boy's hand in public in over a year and a half.

Since then I have dated and had my fair share of regrettable close to one night stands.

Is romance dead?


But I don't think so.

I think it's just napping.

Cas said...

those simple, forgotten embraces. oh my. i love this.


ria said...

to go back to a time when the holding of hands was everything. when time was spent not only dreaming about the boy, but writing his name over, over and over again on a piece of paper, and carrying the piece of paper around with you, in your bra, next to your heart.
i want this time too.

Cassandra said...

lovely. simply lovely.

Lola said...

Amen. Your posts are always so heartbreakingly honest, yet I feel better after reading them. Weird. :)

ALFIE said...

sometimes i wonder, too, if i have retreated into the arena of "safe". if i would rather be content as i am, than bothered with fostering a relationship. alone can be beautiful. a companion does not guarantee one will never experience lonliness. but i've decided that i am not a recluse--destined to knitting toilet-paper cozy's with my cats till i am in the grave. and i don't think you are, either.

it's simply that we're waiting to find the man that returns us to that innocence. where the simple act of hand holding is STILL enough. because just being near him is enough.

there will come along a man that doesn't require the show. and that man-- he will be worth the risks.

ALFIE said...

ps. guarantee: you come to Michigan--i'm totally taking you to get ethiopian food. deal?

m.a.f said...

deal. and boy did you hit the nail on the head. you're right, when just being near him is enough.

MandyJean said...

This is absolutely lovely. It makes me instantly want to travel back to a time where men treated women with respect and wouldn't dream of pressuring her into anything more than simply lacing fingers.
Beautiful :)

Claire Kiefer said...

I was just thinking something so similar. The way that kissing feels when you're a teenager--does that ever come back? If not, I think I'm prepared to dig a hole in the sand and bury my head like an ostrich.

Katie said...

i can't begin to describe how perfectly this echoes every little corner of my heart right now. thank you for understanding. but it still sucks, doesn't it?

beatrice said...

oh this rings true