a thought she has caught by a thread

so i've been busy mulling over all of your questions.

and there's one i keep coming back to.

because do you remember when le love posted this video?

i became unbelievably taken with it.

and i began to play the song ad nauseum. 

i've yet to tire of it.

so when Thao asked, what song lyric best describes you...well...

Sun been down for days
A pretty flower in a vase
A slipper by the fireplace
A cello lying in its case

Soon she's down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up

And she fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And she goes...
Nobody knows

Sun been down for days
A winter melody she plays
The thunder makes her contemplate
She hears a noise behind the gate
Perhaps a letter with a dove
Perhaps a stranger she could love

And she fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes...
Nobody knows

And she fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
Where people are pleasently strange
And counting the change
And she goes...
Nobody knows

"Her Morning Elegance"

Oren Lavie

of course. 

(this big break here is

my Shakespearean pause.

it's meant to indicate a

substantial period

 of silence. so please do

observe while

mentally reading this

aloud.)

of course. 

i am fighting for my life. 

aren't you?

so last week, when i wrote this about how actually ned's not so bad and i'm thankful he's making me who i am...

well the next two days i could hardly breathe. the fight against ned became so intense that even breath failed me. 

and i fought for my life. 

and  i knew. i am who i am in spite of ned. not because of him. and i don't need to thank him for anything. to hell with ned. 

every day is a fight for my life. my life. versus the life ned would have me lead.

and putting on my coat. and getting out of bed. and getting on the subway. and smiling. and sitting down for a meal. and standing in front of a camera.

i fight for my life as i do all of these things.

but i am. i am fighting. and that's something.

and even more than that...i think i'm starting to  win.

Plato got it right, Be kind...for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. 

When my mother taught me driver's ed we followed one maxim above all others. When another driver made a really glaring error, we always said, oh that must be their one mistake for the year. 

So when the man on the subway is nasty, or the patrons at my job, or the girl in front of me at the supermarket, I try to remember two things now: they are fighting a battle too. and it's most likely their only nasty moment of the year. 

image via visualize.us

don't know what i'm talking about

because you don't know who ned is?

check out my sidebar. i've left you

some clues there. happy searching.