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about the ants.

this look of consternation? that's because of the ants.

there were five on the windowsill. the first night. 
about two nights ago.

i thought i'd deal with them in the morning. 

then in the morning they were all over the wood floor. 
many. many, many. 

even some in the kitchen.

tonight i found a whole slew on my dresser. 
my dresser for goodness sake!


i'm not okay with this.

i have cucumber peels on the window sill. 
and cucumber peels on the floor. 
but there is no discernible trail to speak of.

traps are next. 

better ants than maggots.

i had maggots once. 

my first apartment.

three in the morning. insomnia. 
reorganizing room. move bed.


product of dead bird just outside my room.
 in the space where the air conditioner could of gone. 
the space that should have been covered. 
dead pigeon in fact. 
do you know that pigeons really do mate for life.
 loyal little lovers they are.

at the time i didn't know it was a dead bird. 
i didn't know what could have brought the maggots. 
so i threw out an old pair of sneakers. 

green sneakers. huge emotional attachment. 

maggots trump emotional attachment. 

i killed each one. each maggot. 
at three in the morning. all by myself. 
all by my lonesome. 

never have i wanted a boyfriend more.
 but need a boyfriend? nope.
 i took care of them, no boy

i'd rather have ants than maggots. 
but ants move faster. 
and they seem to multiply.

what to do...what to do...
more room cleaning tonight...

explanation of above photo:
(wish her luck on defending the
thesis for her MFA)

tagged me. 

Take a picture of yourself right now.
No preparing or primping.
Load the picture on your blog.
Tag some people to play along.

Well, I'm a little late in responding, 
but no primping was done. In fact this
is after a seven hour shift. And 
I didn't photoshop (sweet lord
above--never again will
you see unaltered photos)

your turn...
Thao at Prosecco and Lemonade who's getting married soon
Veronica at There's a Holiday Every Day--giving us a reason to celebrate, always
and Sarah-Lucy at My Brave New World--her writing is just that, brave indeed


~*"*Dia*"*~ said...

You're so funny!:)) Why not try to put some sugar on the floor and the ants will surely gather. Then you can broom the sugar and the ants along with it or put some chemicals on them ;)

Helen said...

YAY! Girrrrl, you so don't need to Photoshop your pretty face. Notice how my picture was a profile shot? That was to hide some bad things happening on the other side of my face!

And I'm sorry to hear about this ant situation. The traps really do work. I've used 'em! But jeez, maggots sound completely nightmarish, really absolutely hideous! I don't know how you weren't simultaneously sobbing and screaming ...

And thank you, thank you for the good luck wishes.

*fingers crossed*

Thao said...

Oh, I'm sorry to hear about those ants! That does not sound like fun. You don't need to Photoshop--even with the silly expression, your green eyes make me so envious! :) Thanks for tagging me!

Heather said...

I feel your pain. We were being overrun by ants a few weeks ago - they were building a hill in the bathroom!! I finally had to put out traps and I think we're getting it under control. Oh - I found your blog through the Rockstar Diaries. :)

Fashionably Kate said...

Are they sugar ants? Try baking powder. That worked for me!

sheila said...

i like your eye color.
and sorry about the ants- and the maggots.
I had maggots in our garbage once. DISGUSTING.
I know take the trash out everyday.
good luck with the ants. traps and spray should work.

Tina Tarnoff said...

when my husband lived on a shamba in africa all he was doing all day long was fighting ants - and these were african tough guy ants. at the end he gave them what they wanted and fed them sugar. he put a pile of sugar in a corner of the room and they were happy an left his food alone. so whenever he was buying food for himself he would be also buying sugar for the ants. they had a nice existence together.

anyway, I'm sure that is not what you want, to live happily ever after with the ants, so what you need to do is only tempt them with sugar - they will go wild and giddy with love and hopefully will all leave their nests. then you should just vacuum them. but the nests are what you really need to find to get rid of them forever(easy to locate once they start going after sugar). you should then put salt all over the nest, spread it under doors, near windows and walls. and that will finish them off, hopefully.

Elizabeth Marie said...

omg you are so hilarious. And NO need for photo-shopping woman!...although I was having a mild panic attack that you were going to tag me lol.

Ok, so ants...one night i went in my kitchen to get some water...ok wine...and the lights were off (this girl can find her wine in the dark)...but when I finally turned the lights on...ANTS EVERYWHERE...I screamed bloody murder and dropped my bottle of vino, which really didnt help the situation.

So In summary, you're fab and ants are sooo annoying.

caitlin said...

Never had maggots, definitely had ants.

(see link.. http://simplycaitlin.blogspot.com/2009/02/ants-go-marching.html)

I feel your pain. I do.

Laughed really hard at your stream of thougts.. you crack me up.

Kelsey said...

Hahaha. I loved the way you worded this all. I'm terribly sorry about the ants...yuck.

Hanako66 said...

I do hope that you are able to rid yourself of this icky problem!

Sarah-lucy said...

I can't believe you tagged me! This is crazy! I'm going to go take a picture now...

Christiana said...

Huzzah! I was on Apartment Therapy and found a timely solution to your post :)


good luck!

RatalieNose said...

That's terrible news!
One time when I was like ten, I came home and there were ants ALL OVER THE COUNTERTOP!
I almost had a heart attack.
Then I called my mom.

Yet said...

I just love this post! You're a great story teller. I had ants and they were never this interesting! GOSH! Your blog design is sweet!

Erin said...

Somewhere I read that you should build a wall of cinnamon around their nest so that they don't come into your house... it doesn't work. They came in.
But the worst(best?) thing is, we're moving out in 5 days, so I really don't feel all that motivated to do aaanything. Not too helpful for you. But just, I hear you girl.

ps I love your blog, you are so witty and adorable!

Tina { Luphia Loves... } said...

sorry to hear about the ants, we had a ladybirds problem last summer, they were living in the old wooden window frames!

the calendar girls said...

thanks for the blog love! (and sorry for the delay in getting back to you!)

i wasn't able to snap a shot of me that day, but the hug an australian picture was taken after a long day at the beach and cooking for friends. (real tough, right?)

happy wednesday and happy holidays!