Once upon a time I was a waitress. I pray it never again comes to that.

The wind shifted tonight. It began blowing vigorously. It portends my coming day. Ten hours on my feet selling goods at a department store. During training the women kept knocking on the "wooden" (plastic) desk and saying how lucky we all were to have a job. Most people in the room will be earning eight dollars, without commission, and are promised only three weeks worth of work. This hardly constitutes a job. Not in New York anyway. Though one man mentioned he could only work every other day because he had to take care of his mother with cancer. This knocked me down a few pegs. In fact in knocked me off my high horse. Right on my ass. And I sat there thanking my lucky stars for the health of everyone around me.

However, the impending doom of ten hour department store days has driven me to vigorously search Craigslist for a new job. The last time I checked Craigslist, in an effort assuage boredom, I checked the personal ads. Just curious you know. Men seeking women. That's what I clicked on. Turns out most there's a whole host of married men in this city seeking pudgy women who are willing to provide a little companionship for a nice, pudgy lump of cash. I'm gonna keep looking under the job tab, but if worse comes to worse... Well, what can I say, it no longer seems like such a ludicrous option. Oh shush, stop you're guffawing, I was only kidding. Lord knows my going rate is much higher than anyone on Craigslist would be able to afford.

And in an effort to motivate me, and a show of solidarity, my father has begun a nightly "blog"...meaning he emails me every night. Long emails. And in the subject line he always puts Notes from Dad 12/9/08. Tonight's blog was particularly exciting. He sent me a list of all 28 jobs he's had over the course of his storied life. 28 jobs. With descriptions. I thought I'd share of few of my favorites...

1. Cheerful Christmas cards salesman--in 5th grade to earn enough money to buy my own desk to do homework  instead of at the kitchen table

2. Window washer--for my grandfather every Easter with my brother

4. Lawnboy--Employed my Christian Brothers who probably hoped I would have a religious calling

6. Coat checker--my coat was stolen when the college kids stormed the coat check because I was too  slow in dispensing the coats

14. Factory machine operator --In Westchester ghetto factory (his words, not mine)

22. Market researcher interviewer--worked for future wife (that's my mom; I didn't know this and it makes me giggle)

23. Clerk to lawyer in Queens who worked taxi cab accident claims--Only lasted three days and was not paid

And he walked 5 miles, in the snow, to school every morning (it doesn't says this, but you know it's implied)

He then ends his "blog" with the following note: I would be glad to answer any and all questions you might have about any of these income earning opportunities

Personally, I want to know more about the Westchester ghetto....

Or maybe I can first ask about bringing back my very first business venture: Gift wrapping. I used to slave away in my room as the holiday season approached. And bear in mind, I'm about as good at wrapping gifts as I am skilled in the kitchen. Maybe I've improved over the years. And the cost of paper has surely gone up...so what do you think $50 dollars a package?