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12.03.2012

THE SMALL WELL.


I don't know why it took me so long to learn to look up. To get to the period in my life in which I'd fall in love with men in the space of those few seconds of a held gaze. I don't know why it was so hard, for so long, to meet a glance and join in.

But I'm there now. I've made it. And I understand. They say there's nothing like a man looking at you. But that's not quite right. There's nothing like a man looking at you, when you want that man to look at you. There must be a tension to it, a silent waltz. There must be two people desiring for the the thing to take flight.

On Saturday morning, crossing the street, I met the eyes of a man who stood next to an older woman. His mother, perhaps? We stood on opposite sides of the street. All of us with coffee cups in our hands. He wore a hat and had dark eyes and he looked at me. While she spoke to him, he looked at me. And I looked back. Surprised and flattered and totally undone, I looked back. And god, his look became a flagrant thing--ballsy and forward and totally welcome.

He filled my cup. This total-stranger-of-a-man filled my cup. If only for a moment. He filled that small well between my hands that needed to be filled. That needed to be reminded that it does exist. That the impossibility of the two right people meeting at just the right moment might actually be possible. That love is the thing, after all.

14 comments:

Angelica Robles said...

Hi Meg,

I absolutely loved this.

Living in San Francisco I frequently take the Muni train or bus to work. Being around people all the time and more often than not I see a few of the same people on my usual bus/train. And most recently I laid eyes on a handsome older man who I know nothing about but who's stare left me as you say, "surprised and flattered and totally undone."

Thanks for sharing!
Angelica

jackiek said...

this post is amazing. i'm go to a very small college (only about 2.300 people) and see the same faces everyday. yet i feel like my generation doesn't know how to "treat" a girl. i don't think i've ever heard a story from any of my friends here at school about a guy doing something small but meaningful for her. that's why it's things like this- even if it's just a glance- that make me believe that there are some good guys out there. xo

Alexa said...

it's where we find meaning, isn't it?

Andrea Carol said...

This, this is so beautiful.

meThinks said...

beautiful. this blog post goes to show how reading a few words can make one smile, can fill ones cup with happiness.
I just wanted to say that your posts are so delightful they make me smile. :-)

Rachel said...

you amaze me constantly.

Malin said...

Beautifully written. I long for that look.

Kat said...

Your writings and the emotions they evoke are extraordinary. Would love that experience with a particular someone, just once. It would be enough.

Anonymous said...
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Magdalena Viktoria said...

I love your writing.

Jeannee said...

I just had this experience this past week, and had nearly forgotten how sensual and wonderful it is - and - so is your writing !

jackie said...

yes and yes. and I love the new blog header!

Diana said...

I love this. I can't wait to meet that look.

Krys72599 said...

The best line of the post: "There's nothing like a man looking at you, when you want that man to look at you."
My best advice when it comes to love: it's pretty awesome when the one you love loves you back. At the same time."
How many times have we liked someone who was not in the same place at the same time, who might have been dating someone else, who wasn't ready for a relationship? How many times has someone wanted more from you than you were willing to give him, at least at the time?