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4.08.2012

what's in a name


it hurt her to hear his name said aloud.

to have it hang in the air.

it was a physical pain, as real as the splintered wood of the chair poking the back of her leg.

the sound of it snagged her breath. made breathing shallow.

you don't get to say it, she wanted to say. it's not your name to say.

but nor was it hers.

and that was what hurt.

that she had no more right--no more power--than that half-stranger across the room who had released it into the air--that half-stranger who mistook the easy smile for the whole of the truth.

that he was not hers to love or know or think about. that she might never say his name and have him hook her round the hips in pure ecstasy just at having heard it uttered by her perfect lips, in her own imperfect way.

that she might never see him again, know him again, love him again. that all that would be left would be his name hanging in the air, uttered by someone else.

so yes, the pain was real.

27 comments:

Toni Lehman said...

You have such a way with capturing a feeling with words. I totally relate to this one. Love!

Caitlin said...

Ahhh. I love this. You have a gift, sister.

ilene @ muchloveilly said...

i think i hold my breath every time i read your writing. seriously breath-taking.

jennyjones said...

very real.

Maria said...

This is seriously breathtaking, your way with words astounds me. As do the feelings that come across in your posts, especially this one.

Madeline said...

you are a beautiful person.

Mallory said...

Oh, my gosh. I wish I could have been the one to say these words. Because they are so brilliant. (But sad.) It's like you read my mind. You truly are a great writer!

Nikskie said...

gosh! you make me stonned with your words. breath-taking, and i love it

Nikskie said...

gosh! you make me stonned with your words. breath-taking, and i love it

Nikskie said...

gosh! you make me stonned with your words. breath-taking, and i love it

Nikskie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

i'm crying.

Jaraka Drew Hansen said...

That was beautiful. As I read that I feel like everything slows down and my mind takes me there... that's a powerful thing for a writer to do. And I thank you.

Ana Magdalena said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amanda Blair said...

ugh, this really captured what I've felt before/been feeling lately. I had this guy, that one guy who always just out of reach, where I felt a sort of reverence when I said his name- almost like it was my religion. It took a really long time to let go of that and then for it not to feel this way, this pain when his name was spoken. You captured it perfectly.

Asha said...

That was so beautiful, so exact. Thank you.

Robby Spratt said...

This is really moving. I identify with this a lot, especially considering I am trying to get over someone right now. Thanks for your good words.

Francesca Forzoni said...

that broke my heart. i've been there x

The Little Flapper said...

You've sparked my curiosity on these characters. Your words are poetic,never stop writing. You certainly have a gift. <3

ANH Style said...

Those are some powerful, heartbreaking words. Thank you for sharing.

Leslie said...

wow. this is absolutely beautiful! you captured exactly what I've been feeling for the past few weeks. lovely.

courtneykearns said...

myyyyy lanta! i wish you'd write a book. i would buy six thousand copies, and give them to everyone that i know. this is absolutely phenomenal, meg fee.

Stevie K said...

It's your hunky Aussie friend here. When are you going to start employing the capital letter? Love to talk soon. To all meg's fans, I went to Juilliard with her and sweated next to her on many a rehearsal floor so I can give her a good ribbing... She's the real deal.

meg fee said...

@Stevie K: oh lord, i adore you. oh yeah, when i feel like it. Skype soon?

layne said...

oh goodness, this is so good

Aly Casey said...

So pretty!

Falling Up said...

obsessed.