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4.17.2012

conversation with my mom yesterday:


mom: why did everyone think you were depressed after yesterday's post?

me: i'm not sure. i'm not.

mom. yeah, i know.

me: i'm just really stressed.

mom. yeah. i know.


(though, to be fair,  i'm extremely thankful for the concern and support. it is a gentle and good reminder for me that what i post here is such a particular sliver of the story that of course we as readers tend to extrapolate and interpret and fill in blanks and we don't always get it right--i certainly do it in reading the blogs of others. reading what someone chooses to present online does not mean we know them--for better or for worse). 

21 comments:

debbiecutieface.com said...

oh if only you knew how much I can relate.

Anonymous said...

Well, to be fair, usually bursting into tears for no obvious reason is a sign of depression. At least it was for me.

meg fee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nicole said...

Well, most people aren't as in touch with themselves, openly honest, and real as you are. If they were, they would understand. Keep on keepin' on, Meg. It is so nice to read a blog that doesn't create a false sense of a perfect reality which usually leaves readers feeling as though their own life is inadequate.... You're an inspiration for most. Thank you for that.

meg fee said...

oh anonymous: you're really beginning to bug me. not a lot. but enough.

1. there was a reason, which i gave. several, in fact

and this, is what really kills me (and gives me a pretty good idea of who you are) look up depression. see if the people who struggle from it need a reason. depression does not always come from a singular event or particular situation, sometimes it just comes.

please, for the love of what's good, do your research. because you sound like such a gas bag.

Katie said...

No need to call names.
I didn't mean it unkind, mostly just trying to explain why your readers might have felt concern and thought you were depressed.
A line like "yesterday i missed the train by a mere ten seconds. and so i began to cry" sounds inexplicably sad whether you had a reason or not.

meg fee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
meg fee said...

i understand why people would read what i wrote and think i was depressed. i also understand why those that know me in person would read what i wrote and know that i'm stressed--about moving, about all the things that make up life.

i truly do appreciate the concern. because so many people suffer from depression so perhaps someone else read the post, read the comments and was greatly helped by them.

this was not meant to be a dig at anyone in any way (more a dig at the failings of a technologically based world where words and flat computer screens only tell so much).

though, yeah, i guess it was a dig at "anonymous" comments. why do it under that guise? if you're not ashamed of what you're saying then why not just say it with your name attached?

Lottie said...

I don't get the anonymous comments either but that is just me.

And after I posted my comment and read the others about depression I was like "woah! did I just miss something?" because I didn't think you were depressed at all--it is amazing how people can find what they are looking for in anything.

Katie said...

Sorry, I was anonymous, but did not mean to be! That is why I am here, no longer anonymous.

Katie said...

Ugh, I mean I was only Anonymous TODAY. In the above comment. I didn't mean to be anonymous! Didn't realize I wasn't logged in. I wasn't anonymous in the other post. I didn't comment on the other post. I just felt like I could see why people were concerned.

Kmarie said...

I don't know you but I thought it was a post that sounded lost, vulnerable, brave and yes a little depressed. As someone who has gone through it - I could relate and I don't understand why it's an insulting thought. Depression teaches a lot and some who go through it only go through it lightly. Most stress is associated with depression and often denial is a common sign for even a few years. That being said, many signs of depression are also associated with anxiety and with all that is going on in your life it would be easy to read the signs wrong. No doubt all those life changes would make anyone a little anxious and blue. I wasn't anonymous but I did misread it as slightly depressed but I thought it was such a brave, smart post ...which people with depression can write with vigour. Depression still has an unfortunate stigma...
Glad you are figuring out your next steps and enjoying your life as well ( but for the other readers of comments I just wanted to say that people who are depressed can also do this...and do it well. I have so many friends who have struggled at one time or another with depression and stats say that almost every person will once in their life. If handled appropriately it can foster wisdom, empathy, boundaries and compassion. It's not all bad:)

Jill said...

you know what i love about your writing? how it is somehow broad enough to be relatable to so many of us and yet at the same time SO specific to you and your moment. it is those two pieces working together that captivate me, and yesterday's post was a great example of that.

ali said...

Meg,
Never allow anyone else to tell you what you are feeling! You alone know what it feels like being you. Does that make sense? Thank you for being open and honest!! You are amazing.

Jen B. said...

I didn't read the post and automatically think depression. I immediately thought stress. I think everyone knows what it's like to have an overwhelming moment where everything sits on the precipice. I've cried over what some might say is an inexplicable event or setback and it doesn't make me depressed either.

It makes us human!

CityGirl said...

I liken it to reading a great book--the protagonist (you) gave a gleam of a larger plotline (missing the train, the unkind thing) and I think: what unkind thing was said? who said it? why? and then the mind goes from there. i always think of that writing adage "show, don't tell". I think people reach out because they care and they do want to know..humans are curious creatures...
love the blog. would love more details. after all, even though we don't know you personally (well, I don't), the blog is "out there" like a novel...and sometimes people just want answers.
Keep writing! You're voice is so real and true.

The Lewicutt's est 2006 said...

I cried once because the restaurant that I went to eat at didn't have pulled pork. I don't even like pulled pork that much. It wasn't the pulled pork... and I wasn't depressed. I was overwhelmed by the million other little things that had gone wrong that week... like my tires being slashed by a random mean-spirited anonymous. It was just the trigger for the water works... C'est la vie. You let the water works flow, gather yourself, and move on. You're allowed to fall apart without being depressed.

Jessica. Alma. said...

i have been following your blog and i adore you :) i just wanted to thank you because you speak my language. i know i do not know you, and i can not totally understand you. but sister, i am with you. (sometimes i make my boyfriend read what you write about sadness so that he can understand me better :) you are lovely and full of life.

Erin said...

I actually really appreciated your post yesterday. I hoped that you would have better days, but I didn't consider it a sign of depression. Sometimes a girl just needs a good cry, you know.

Francesca Forzoni said...

that's exactly what i said after last week..

http://forzoni.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/too-far.html

xx

Diana said...

Meg-

After reading your last post (I've only been reading for a week or two), I was encouraged--because someone else has those moments where they break down and that aren't necessarily attached to depression, but an overwhelming day, week, etc. Thank you for sharing your thoughts honestly. You'll never know how many lives you reach through that simple act.

On the topic of depression-

As someone who dealt with chronic depression for 8 years, I find it to be an overgeneralization to associate crying with depression. Sometimes you just need a release. Sometimes you just have an overwhelming day or a stressful time. Crying is not a bad thing and acting as though it must associated with something as difficult as depression only perpetuates the shame which can, at times, come along with actual depression. And to add to that, why should there be shame or fear in expressing feelings if someone is indeed depressed? Is that not a healthy alternative to self-harm or letting it bottle up. We can be way to quick to judge, never fully allowing compassion to shine through. Just a thought.

Also, there's a quote that is along the lines of "crying has and always will be a sign that you're alive."

And so back to Meg, I've been loving everything you've written. I was hooked from the first read. You give a voice to a lot of the things I feel and keep silent.