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3.30.2012

20 minutes.


do you know that feeling when you're out at a party or out on the town and you have the thought, it's time to go home. i have to go home now. 

which really means: GET ME INTO BED! IMMEDIATELY!!!

i find that the thought always comes (for the first time) about twenty minutes after i should have already been in bed. which means by the time i actually get there it's like an hour and a half after i should fallen asleep. and for that hour and a half my mood, my actions, my very existence is a tenuous thing. 

that's kind of how i feel about my life right now. i'm finally moving in a direction. i've finally made choices. and now that i've made them i'm all: GET ME OUT OF HERE!! Get me into that new apartment! Get me off of this A train! Get me a job that has really meaning! Get me a life that is together and meaningful! Enough, ENOUGH of this waiting and trudging and rolling about in the muck. 

remember the other day how i wrote about the need for patience?

yeah.


{thank goodness for good and kind friends and unplanned midweek brunches that settle me, if only for a moment}. 




15 comments:

Lauren Quinn O'Neill said...

I religiously read your posts, but never comment because I feel I could never say it better than you. Your words always hit home.

This post and the patience post hit home for me. I feel I'm right there with you - in a holding pattern that I'm desperately ready to break free from.

We'll get there!

Hannah said...

I too am a regular reader and this post like so many you write makes me think... Yes! I know exactly what you mean! You just put it into words so much better than I ever could. I've made some big changes lately (including a cross continental move that has led me to your city) and I can tell you no matter the fear it feels so good to be moving forward in life. Or at least moving somewhere... Good luck and thank you for sharing with us all.

Lottie said...

But remember how amazing it will feel when you move forward--you will be flying :)

The Lewicutt's est 2006 said...

Oh lord knows I've felt that way. The feeling of "limbo" drives me bananas.

Soon enough!

Claire said...

Yesterday Donald Miller said, "Great writers keep people from feeling alone. Their humanity comes across on the page and connects". That's how I feel about your writing. Thank you.

Ruth said...

Ohmygosh. Yes. Totally, unequivocally, yes. I never thought of putting it this way, but you're right -- that's exactly the feeling. I, too, am SO ready for a new job and new home and now that I feel SO close to these things, it's like torture waiting for them to come.

Freya Lily said...

I'm feeling the same way! I know that "Get me home NOW" feeling all too well. Right now, I'm having the "get me out of here NOW" feeling.

wb said...

Hi! I'm a long time reader and fan of your writing. For the last little while you have been talking about working on the process of moving out of your apartment and into a place of your own. I am making my own transition, for the summer I am moving to NYC to intern for the Colbert Report before I head to law school in the fall. I started looking for apartments on the web this week and am a little overwhelmed, then I had a crazy thought...it would be great if I could just move into Meg's old apartment! If this is crazy that is ok, but if you have any tips for a young, fun,ambitious girl moving from the west to the big city, send them my way. We can help each other make our next big move :)

by B. said...

oh yes. i'm feeling this too right now and brunch sounds wonderful!

Sonja said...

woah! good analogy.
completely understand where you're going with this.
Soon, soon, you'll be in your new apartment with so many new adventures and experiences to fulfil, i;m sure of it!

Lauren Stewart said...

Oh man I know that feeling. Often times I will skip events to skip that feeling of "get me out of here now!" Great post and best of luck. :)

Lauren
www.laurensthoughts.com
@lrstewar

Carole said...

Nice blog. You might like this poem about matters of the heart. http://caroleschatter.blogspot.co.nz/2011/11/marge-piercy-poem-that-appealed-to-me.html

elz said...

haha i hear ya on this one! i have a new project that i am working on, and i'm all "ugh, why can't this just be done NOW i'm ready to show it off!"

Mackenzie said...

amen to all of this! it's so like an itch you can't scratch.

Mackenzie said...

amen to all of this! it's so like an itch you can't scratch.