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1.05.2012

the big kitchen table.


you know what i want?

one of those ridiculously, unbelievably, alarmingly large kitchen tables--the kind that are long and thick and made from recycled, imperfect wood.

i want that kind of table that if need be (and why wouldn't need be?)  could host a party of twenty.  let it be big as a ship, middle of the kitchen, steering our home life through the tempestuous waters of this deliriously juicy life.

let it be covered in papers. let those papers be stained by coffee and tea. let them be slips of words i've yet to collect, half-formed ideas--fragments of scribble on white that you found i've left behind in the bathroom, the bedroom, by the table under the stairs.

let it be messy. our mess. let our mess sing. let it thrum the beat of the daily grind and subsequent salve.

let the table house stacks of things that must be read and marked up--things we'll know the words to by day's end. let those things be the marrow of our work. let those things be reminders of all that we love and that which we still foolishly believe might change the world--or our little corner of it, at least.

let the table see dinner party after dinner party. quiet ones, raucous ones, ones for just us two. let it be where we feed the ones we love. where we build the life we love. let it anchor us to a place and to each other and to hard work and late nights and lots of wine and the following morning with its warm, pooling lattes.




i don't want a life that's perfect. where every day is good. where happiness never falters and gives way to longing or loneliness or pain. that doesn't interest me. why try and hide what makes us human? show me that. give me that. offer up your humanity, your fault-line of divinity, and i will spend each day forging forward into that land where language has no meaning. to that place beyond words where we find and love  each other wholly and simply.




image.

35 comments:

jessa said...

Amen.

Sonja said...

lovely! I love your letters to him! :o)
I'd love one too! (a table...although a husband to be would be good to haha). You're right , there should always be a need for a gigantic table!! And recycled wood is truly just about my favourite thing ever!!!!
so this combination of things you speak of along with the mess is perfection! in the most imperfect way of course ;o)

Ria said...

Gosh I completely agree with you. Life is more fun when it's not 200% scheduled out and perfect and when it is scheduled it's more fun when life veers from the schedule. I want to spend each day differently, have each day have a new surprise waiting for me. I think that a big, strong kitchen tabel is one that will hold down the fort for something amazing to happen. You can build a family around it.

Anonymous said...

Please never stop writing! You are such a genius and the way you express with words what you are feeling is truly wonderful. The last part of this post is just simply perfect! Thanks for writing each day so nice things. I am always touched of your words!
xxxx from Germany
Sophie

Mary said...

I love your blog, and I really adore your writing - keep doing it. I also totally agree with the desire for a big kitchen table. I had 12 for Christmas and we barely fit. Not the table's fault...my dining room is too small! And my family is still growing. And I want to entertain more and nurture my friendships. So yes yes yes, when you look for a house, look for room for a great big table. It's where all the good stuff happens.

sophie said...

Have you seen this poem about the kitchen table?

Perhaps the World Ends Here
BY JOY HARJO
The world begins at a kitchen table. No matter what, we must eat to live.

The gifts of earth are brought and prepared, set on the table. So it has been since creation, and it will go on.

We chase chickens or dogs away from it. Babies teethe at the corners. They scrape their knees under it.

It is here that children are given instructions on what it means to be human. We make men at it, we make women.

At this table we gossip, recall enemies and the ghosts of lovers.

Our dreams drink coffee with us as they put their arms around our children. They laugh with us at our poor falling-down selves and as we put ourselves back together once again at the table.

This table has been a house in the rain, an umbrella in the sun.

Wars have begun and ended at this table. It is a place to hide in the shadow of terror. A place to celebrate the terrible victory.

We have given birth on this table, and have prepared our parents for burial here.

At this table we sing with joy, with sorrow. We pray of suffering and remorse. We give thanks.

Perhaps the world will end at the kitchen table, while we are laughing and crying, eating of the last sweet bite.

Stephanie and Such said...

I love that table!!

There is a resturant here in Utah called Communal and they have a huge table like that too, that every time I go in I drool over!

Love it!

Erin said...

Yes, please.
Meg, as always, I truly appreciate your words and emotion. Beautiful!

Lottie said...

Your letter is so beautiful and I am sure he would want such a table too.

I would love such a table. I want us to have massive table that is could speak would tell so many stories. A table where I can feed my children, if we have any, and see them grow. A table where ideas are spoken, dreams are formed, and where me and the boy grow old.

To me that would be perfect.

Jenni Austria Germany said...

my parents just bought one! they were going for a "farm house" oklahoma look. i think, as a texan, you'd love it!

Alexa said...

Beautiful. So incredibly well said.

@Sophie, thanks so much for sharing that poem!!

Lela said...

One of my dearest friends is the mother of three little girls - one in heaven and two on earth. Her inheritance when her own father passed away last winter was just such a huge wooden table, which he had lovingly crafted by hand for his wife and six kids to sit at. That table sits now in Dorie's kitchen, reminding her everyday of her daddy's love, her five siblings, and her own dream of having a large family (which she can no longer achieve) and filling her with joy everytime she gets the chance to fill it with friends and relatives. Big wooden tables are beautiful things.

Rony said...

Wonderful and inspiring post- as always! You are a beautiful writer and I always enjoy reading what you have to say, so thank you for sharing and I hope that one day, you get that big kitchen table! :)

communikate. said...

oh, the quest for the big kitchen table. it's been on my want list for quite sometime. i guess i need to move out of my studio apartment first though right?

brilliant words as always.

Sarah McCabe said...

Yes, just yes, and that table is gorgeous. An impefect wooden table. Because it is the imperfect things that make your house a home instead of a display at Pottery Barn.

Maria said...

Oh i love this! I've been thinking about a big table lately as well. I was watching "It's Complicated" the other night and lusting after that perfect rounded/oval farm table. It just seems like the piece of furniture that would sustain so much life- one person or many. There's something deeply grounding about it.

Ashley said...

you painted a lovely image in my head. your words give me butterflies.

debbiecutieface.com said...

you have a way of transforming my thoughts into words.

Roxanne said...

Meg, your blog. I hope you write a book one day. One that never ends so I can soak it up forever and ever.

You're so right about a big kitchen table. The best conversations always happen in the kitchen.

Natalie Grace said...

i read this: http://ticktockvintage.blogspot.com/2012/01/building-our-dining-room-table-take-1.html, right before reading your post, inspired?

Sinéad Cloughley said...

lovely. just... lovely.

becky said...

You make me cry, Meg Fee. Big, sloppy tears. Of hope. x

Ana Magdalena said...

I want that, too.

www.therecordologist.blogspot.com

Emily said...

Meg, your posts are always such a breath of fresh air.

The Lewicutt's est 2006 said...

I just love you. That's all.

Kari said...

This. This is perfect. You are such a lovely writer.

Melissa Kiefer said...

so poetic. you are a beautiful soul.

Katie said...

There is something heartwarming (and dare I say inspirational?) about tables, you describe it perfectly.

klm said...

i just am wondering...if, when you are 35 (or 32 or 43 or whatever)...IF at that time you still haven't found this husband you expect to be, will you still be writing like this, to the "him" that still isn't there yet? ...if not, what will you be writing about instead?

by r. said...

and let it be in a room that looks like this. :)

Elizabeth said...

this is beyond words. beautiful. thank you.

Shaylynn;) said...

I love that you made a post about a kitchen table so beautiful.

Kate said...

I don't know anyone else who could write so beautifully about a kitchen table. Amazing.

I believe a kitchen table should be the place in a home where lives are lived. A table that's seen it all and lived through it all. The kitchen is the heart.

Alice said...

Pretty table, pretty writing. And I loveee that I now have the best excuse ever for the mess that is our kitchen table basically all the time.

Vartikaz said...

Lovely!