she'd been feeling like she couldn't rub two good days together to save here life.
there'd be one--one good, passable, livable day.
followed by a rush in of three or four others. days that recalled an older time. a time well-passed, once-lived, and tremulously difficult.
but then there'd be another good one.
and so the cycle went.
and there were just enough good ones to make it all survivable, bearable, perfectly withstand-able.
but there was a sense of treading water. and while the pull of the waves seemed gentle and harmless with her head above peek-a-boo caps, she knew the rhythmic bob belied the actual pull.
the difficulty was, to keep her eyes on the horizon? or to give in? was there redemption to be found in surrendering to the undertow--would the very thing she feared get her to where she most needed to go?
10.10.2011
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11 comments:
How do you know my life?
I hope this week is filled with many wonderful days for you!
~Ariel at adreamersdaze.blogspot.com
Meg, saw this today and made me think of you. http://thingsweforget.blogspot.com/2011/10/764.html
Have a great start into this week!
i hope this week is filled with the good days.
…Let us go,’ we said, ‘into the Sea of Cortez,’ realizing that we become forever a part of it; that our rubber boots slogging through a flat of eel-grass, that the rocks we turn over in a tide pool, make us truly and permanently a factor in the ecology of the region. We shall take something away from it, but we shall leave something too. And if we seem a small factor in a huge pattern, nevertheless it is of relative importance. We take a tiny colony of soft corals from a rock in a little water world. And that isn’t terribly important to the tide pool. Fifty miles away the Japanese shrimp boats are dredging with overlapping scoops, bringing up tons of shrimps, rapidly destroying the species so that it may never come back, and with the species destroying the ecological balance of the whole region. That isn’t very important in the world. And thousands of miles away the great bombs are falling and the stars are not moved thereby. None of it is important or all of it is.”
“The Log from the Sea of Cortez” - John Steinbeck
Not sure what is going on for you, but oh, how perfectly this describes many difficult times in my life. And I'm reminded that I ought to be grateful for reprieves when good days are more effortlessly strung together. Can't wait to read more.
wait, did I just write that??
incredible.
This is absolutely beautiful. I hope you're okay. I have no doubt that you will be though, you become braver and stronger with each post.
What if, Meg Fee? What if? I adore you. And every word that falls out of your brain and into my inbox. (picture feival and his sister now...)
i say choose something all together different. xox
this is beautiful. i adore your blog and the fact that you are willing to write about feelings that aren't pretty. thank you for being a light in the dark
I don't know how you do it but you always manage to speak to my life.
I guess people go through things together and they can never realize it.
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