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in place of my own words...

i'm at this interesting point in my life where suddenly things feel too personal--too close to share. (can you even believe i'm writing this?). where things are moving along. or not.  i'm not even sure, but i must keep these things in my small fists, pressed close to my chest--protecting what little i can.

what i can say, is this: a week ago--oh, was it only a week ago?--i went to see noah and the whale in concert. i put on my new, blue sundress, did my makeup, took the long train downtown, found myself a spot on the floor and then danced and cried and stood in utter awe--all by myself.

and so what i know right now--and there are very few things i do know--is this: i'll look back on this period of my life as a time when happiness pooled beneath my feet and noah and whale's last night on earth was the soundtrack to the return of life's sweet joy.

so today, in place of words, i give you this. because for the moment, even months after first hearing it, i have this song on repeat.


communikate. said...

amen to the sharing thing.

i'm feeling a little torn on the fact that i've shared as much as i have on the internet to an audience of strangers. i want those inner thoughts back. to keep them safe inside my heart where no one knows them.

then again, i've grown and learned so much from other's insights and thoughts that i'm okay with sharing a bit of myself too.

that made zero sense.

sorry for the ramble.

Erin Marie said...

You've got such a way with words. I feel like if I'm sharing random things to an audience of strangers then someone will benefit from reading what I have to say. Even if it's just me writing it out for future posterity to read and know my personality.

Thank you. Take care. You're lovely.

The Lewicutt's est 2006 said...

Life is full of changing seasons. It's ok to share, it's also ok not to share.

Neither is more appropriate than the other... what's appropriate is what feels right for you.

There are things I will most likely never never share on my blog. Ever. They're too personal. I know someone could probably benefit from hearing my life lessons, but for me... they're better left in the past. Where only I can revisit them if I need to. I do admire those people who are brave enough to share their most vulnerable, fragile moments... I'm just not one of them... yet.

christine said...

Yes, I totally get the whole holding things close bit. I tell my sister everything, but there are times when I can't tell her everything I just have to keep them close until I can tell her or not. Sometimes, some things are just better when they're savored alone.

I'm so glad you felt happiness pool at your feet. Stay in that pool for a while and luxuriate in that pool. You deserve it.

becky said...

I hope, more than anything, that you're okay. You don't have to share--we don't expect you to. And sometimes keeping those things close to your chest is the greatest, safest and most beautiful thing you can do.

Kate said...

It's totally okay, some things in life are meant to be just yours.

Micaela said...

oh this IS exciting ;) i'm thrilled for you and this beginning of sorts... enjoy every moment and provide snippets when you can in your beautiful honest words or a song that can explain it oh so well.


RML said...

I have always marveled, at how much you shared your world with us. I truly believe it is a privilege we have as your readers, and I bonded with your trials and triumphs as you wrote about them. I only wish I lived near New York so that I could attend one of your book club meetings, but if you are ever in the California area -- you must have one there too!

Thank you for baring as much as you have, your words truly have painted what I often only wish I could have had the courage to say. Not only that, you have often described emotions and experiences that were only abstractly intangible to me in my own head, though they were just as real.

This is all really just to say, thank you. And no matter what you write about from here on out, I hope you will still always write, because you are truly talented with the way you weave your words together.. it is a gift.

Jennifer M. said...

I'm proud of you to go to the concert by yourself! I'm not normally so brave.