I've moved! This page should automatically redirect in 5 seconds, but if it doesn't, then click here.

5.17.2011

last night's attempt at satire. (though in the cold light of a rainy morning it's not reading so funny; just keep in mind it's meant to be tongue in cheek).


there is a very real possibility that in a few weeks time i may just came face to face with an ex-boyfriend.

well, not quite boyfriend... i don't think he'd like me to use that term. 

in our short time together he went from wondering-if-i-was-the-one to making-it-very-clear-i-was-not. so the "girlfriend" stage was never reached. 

hindsight has revealed this all to be nothing short of miraculous--a very great blessing.

but this knowledge does not in any way mitigate the urge to look good (really, really good) when i see him.

i confessed this all to my mother on the phone just a few nights back. she suggested my motives were not as pure as i might suspect. perhaps, i did want more?

yes, mother, in truth i do want more. i want him cry himself to sleep with nothing but the full realization of all he missed out on. not-even-girfriend-material, ha!

my friend alex has suggested all these feelings can be lumped together under the monacher, spite. 

i am inclined to think he is right.

you see, spite has manifested itself on my face in the form of a soul-consuming cystic boil (read: zit). and to add insult to injuries, it's on the left side of my face. i mention this because my left side is far superior to the right and thus absolutely vital in the plan to make this ex-whatcha-ma-callit rue the day

the good news is this: my mother will be visiting just a few days after the pre-arragnged-maybe-run-in. and if there are two things that get me wanting to look my best it's a visit from my mother and the chance of seeing a guy who's broken my heart.

you see how these events coincide nicely? it means only one haircut. only one really great manicure. only one round of the torturous crest white strips. okay, okay, i kid... the strips aren't that bad. 

a condensed window of needing to look pulled-together and glamorous. a condensed window before i can return to my unkempt hair, wrinkly button-ups, and natural face of slight-dismay.

win-win, i say. win-win.



(and not to worry, i'll let you all know how it all goes down. when it does. {if it does}).

30 comments:

Jenni Austria Germany said...

hindsight has revealed this all to be nothing short of miraculous--a very great blessing.

but this knowledge does not in any way mitigate the urge to look good (really, really good) when i see him.

^^^ made me laugh out loud.

please take photos of how good you look so i can pretend it's me - looking that good - running into an ex-"boyfriend" of mine.

a life of color said...

I love this post because lets face it every girl thinks and feels the same way you do about an "ex." I am in a similar situation as you
(as in the guys isn't really an ex but basically is) and I always like to look/feel my best when a run in is possible. I think it works too :)

Kristen said...

Haha I love this concept of pulling it together and pretending you keep the unaware-that-I-look-perfect look at all times when seeing certain people. And I leave the white strips for last also, they feel like poison!

Stevie Leigh said...

Oh, please do! I hear ya. This summer I'll be in a wedding with my ex. :) Sometimes you just need to see that look - the one that says, "oh sweet heavens, how did I let her get away?". It does something for a girl's self-esteem.

Best of luck! Knock em dead!

::: Wild lola/Naia said...

it´s nice to see how honest you are sharing your thoughts. When I read it it´s like to hear one of my friends saying it (I dont know if we are a couple, maybe just friends, maybe he does not tell me the true and he doesnt want me as his girl...).
that´s the real life. I had the same experience with my first boyfriend, even if he became my couple later, but yes he broke my heart and really hated him for a while.
Now I do not remember it that hard but LOVE give us many surprises! yes, and when you dont want to have a couple you meet the best guy for you and you fall in love every day (that´s what happened to me).

I think you´ll look great and you´ll enjoy every minute (with your "friend" and mama)

Stephanie said...

Awww! good luck!! Can't wait to hear about the "reunion"!!

Courtney said...

i wanted to look really really good when i ran into my ex a few years ago too. ...we're married now. careful ;)

Keiko said...

O what i would give to run into my ex "boyfriend." what i would give...

Instead, I live vicariously through you. So make me proud Meg, make me proud!

"Even to see her walk across the room is a liberal education."- C.S. Lewis

The Lewicutt's est 2006 said...

Knock 'em dead, lady! He'll eat his heart out.

Maureen said...

Oh my goodness has every woman EVER felt this way about running into an ex? I know I have!

christine said...

Miss Meg, you have quite the knack for capturing the feelings of every womand I know. Keep it up.

Good luck.

Alisha said...

You are mistaken, my friend. It read quite well for my morning! And I've felt everything you described.

See, even with the marriage license so neatly folded away in our safe, I still make the 'call to impress' window appear now and then. A lady must always look her best married or not! AND, especially is there is an ex present ;)

xoxo

Alex said...

Oh man, I know what you mean. I have no doubt that if you do end up running into this ex "person of interest," as we shall call him, he will surely realize how stupid he is. Those moments are the best. Is that mean? Nah.

-Maria- said...

oh so relateable!

mrs. autumn said...

I ran into my ex-fiance the other day while looking hideous. I was horrified.

my first giveaway :)

jenny said...

haha. this was perfecto. oh how perfect. you have GOT to let us know how it goes!

SarahAnn said...

Oh I have no doubts that he will cry a thousand tears.

But whether he does or he doesn't, you enjoy that hair cut and that manicure and those pretty clothes. Because maybe they are for him and your mom; but they can be for you too! :)

Kate said...

Ugh story of my life! But my run-ins usually occur when I'm not expecting them. I wish I could say I look good all the time, but sadly no. Good luck!

dull boy said...

ha!

good luck with the cystic boil.

(& what are torturous crest white strips??)

Ana* said...

I am sure you're going to wow-him. I mean, Megan...you're beautiful without even trying so duh!

I will set my prayers so the god of heartbreaks sends him directly to the bathroom, crying in realization of all he lost. yes, I will.

The Many Colours of Happiness said...

Oh how I can relate! At least you have a heads up. I always run into ex's on the days that I look horrific...

Hahaha 'rue the day' made me laugh so much! Pretty much summed it all up perfectly :)

Karls said...

I relate - the pseudo ex, the mum. There is not much more to say. Been there, looked hot - thank god for concealer!

Jandy xx said...

boy how i adore your honesty

Danielle said...

I don't think there's many things better than running into an ex-boyfriend (or whatever we're supposed to call them) and thinking "HA I LOOK GOOD! I know it and HE knows it!" That boy missed out, but from the sounds of it, YOU my dear, did not.

Little Tree Vintage said...

even if you don't care about him. you still must look good. it's a rule! all girls think it

Micaela said...

oh man meg, i hope it happens! because in the time i have known you -- you have never looked/seemed better my friend! :) there's a beautiful glow about you and this ex will see that.

and it will do your heart and being good to make this run-in. because you will see how far you've come... how much HE'S missed out and the reaction on his face when he sees you. oh it's worth it. :)

even if your heart does drop a bit at remembering "once upon a time..."

Micaela said...

ps. i giggled at courtney's comment! <3

Anna said...

I had one of those too and if I was going to run into him I would want to look good also.

hklover86 said...

oooh I totally know this feeling!

Stina G said...

Oh my god, this was great. Thanks for making me smile. You will rock it! You're gorgeous.