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11.11.2010

mid-morning revelation.

roma

i had a phone call to make this week. a little one. not the end of the world.

but i'm not so great on the phone. so the whole idea of it terrified me.

i was standing on 57th, shaking in my boots, on hold, when i looked up at the building across the street.
it was glass. and as the sun dove into it, it reflected another building. and something about the meeting of the two--the stone and blue and brilliance of it made me think of rome.

and i took a deep breath wishing desperately i was in the eternal city.

but then i thought, life would be scary in rome too. hell, life is scary everywhere.

and there was something simultaneously exhilarating and unbelievably comforting about that realization.

life is scary everywhere. that's just part of the deal.

19 comments:

Kate said...

and once you acknowledge that fact, it is that much easier to pack up and experience another country's culture.

karman said...

I completely agree it is scary everywhere I also feel no matter how great the place there is always some amount of crappy to and most of the time that get kind of hard to overlook.

Jessica said...

That is an amazing revelation. And so true. Thank you for always being so open and sharing so much on this blog. It's so nice.

communikate. said...

i love. love. this.

life is scary as hell, but that's what makes it exciting!

i love that you're in new york. that's my scary as hell place, and yet i know that sometime and somehow am i'm going to live there.

Laura Marie said...

no words have hit me in my gut quite like these just did in a very very long time... i'm sure you see in my blog how nostalgic i am for california--and it can be hard not to pretend that back on the beach, life would be easy.

so thank you thank you thank you for this one :)

Laura C said...

it's part of the deal. and it's part of what makes life so exciting.

love that picture.

Camilla Leila said...

it's funny, because i feel like life is scarier here in america some how. i feel like life is not as terrifying in paris, or barcelona.

i don't know.
maybe it's just me.
and the pressure that i feel living here in this country.

Emily said...

dang, i think that's what i've been getting at these past few days too. but you put it into words beautifully. thank you.

Kelsey said...

it's this thought that keeps me from dropping my life and running to Sweden nearly every day.

www.kelseyannhannon.blogspot.com

Ana* said...

Having lived in the Caribbean for 12 years, I feel like life is scarier here in America. Maybe because people are more materialistic here? I don't know but It is scary here in the U.S. Maybe its scary everywhere, maybe the place where we live doesn't make a difference, maybe what makes all the difference is the lifestyle we choose.

angela hardison said...

life is scary - but i think that's what makes it so beautiful too.

Suzy said...

You're so right. I've struggled with anxiety, and at times wish I could just hide out, hide from the fear, because lots of things bring out this fear--phone calls for me too, socializing, trivial things. But I have to remind myself that I will feel this fear no matter where I am or what I'm doing, so I might as well enjoy life and not retreat, because the fear will find me.

vintch said...

i love this post, meg. you have such a way with words and always know the exact thing to say on days when we need to hear it most. thanks for your beautiful blog and for sharing yourself with us:)

...like a rolling stone. said...

so
so
so
true.

so true meg. what a rad reminder...because i often find myself thinking that, so this will come in handy next time!
xo.

j.peri said...

stop it!
your blog is so adorable.

i love you outlook on life.
you make me proud to be a brunette.

j.peri

Kelly said...

I dislike talking on the phone as well!

I loved this post. Inspirational, as always : )

Micaela said...

i think i've fallen in love with you all over again with this post.

it indeed looks like the eternal city.

i hope your phone call turned out well!

xo

sara said...

this reminds me of a time when i had a similar realization
i was having an awful summer, feeling overwhelmed and scared and upset all the time. i walked into my kitchen one day to see how many dishes were there for me to do.
when i looked at the stacks on the counter, a thought popped out of nowhere: "it's a lot, but it's not too much."
it surprised me so much, but i repeat it to myself often even now. i have no idea where it came from, but i'm glad it did.

...love Maegan said...

life IS scary everywhere. I have a similar "I CAN'T MOVE OUT OF LOS ANGELES OR I'LL FREAK OUT" thought ...but really, life would probably be a lot less hectic if I lived somewhere a little slower. You're in NY, right? You're brave ;) ... I just read your "homeward bound post" and wonder why you don't live there - where it's safe, lol. LA is my home. obviously I'm a freak. lol