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10.21.2010

clarity

there's this thing that happens when exhaustion takes hold, and i mean really takes hold. when you're so busy that the mind can't keep up--can't wrap itself around all that needs to be done.

things streamline. the mind figures it out what it needs to in any given moment. priorities shift. life drops in.

a job is a job is a job. it pays the bills. accept that. move on.

and insecurities and unnecessary quirks fall away. because you don't have time for them, or rather you don't have the energy to keep up with things that aren't authentically you. but it took becoming this busy, this you-want-to-burrow-in-bed-all-day-following-fourteen-consecutive-hours-of-jobs-that-pay-the-bills, for you to really get it--for you to drop into yourself all the more.

and you like the clarity that comes when the mind doesn't have the energy to over-think to the point of muddle.

so you soldier on. because this is all experience.

7 comments:

Alyssa said...

Being super busy always helps realise what you really do treasure because you miss it like crazy.

Enjoy the experience, but take some time to sleep girl!!!

x

Roxy Te said...

I find I'm a better me when I'm busy. I'm an over analyzer to the max and when I have too much time on my hands I definitely "over-think to the point of muddle." It's terrible...I'd much rather be exhausted and happy because my mind neither has the time nor capacity to dawdle then rested and anxious. Hope you're enjoying fall in the city!

becky said...

I love this post. It is filled with promise.

Millar said...

"experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God you learn." CS Lewis

Keep up the good work!

Emily said...

I understand completely. In fact... I get it. Hang on! :-)

Palace of Purification said...

I understand this- perhaps a little too well. Thanks for the inspirational posts.

Shawn Tina said...

this is precisely where i am right now.
my mind has shifted into pure utility mode, and can no longer fight itself.

-shawn tina