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9.30.2010

found in an old journal.


why is it that i cannot write about loving him?

i can write about green tennis shoes. or a baseball hat worn aslant. i can write about exposed brick walls and the movie rushmore. sitting on opposite ends of the couch with too much to say sitting just between us. or street fighter and nick drake. i can write about dark theaters and hanging pony-tails. long-narrow corridors with well-worn floors.

i can write about all these things--all these parts. but i cannot write about him.

and because i cannot write about him, i cannot write about love.




11 comments:

denise said...

this is love. even if you don't see it as such. the words will come to you, i promise. they always do.

Ellie said...

Do you still keep a journal? I know for a lot of people, blogging has replaced journal writing. I don't keep a journal, but I do carry a notebook for ideas and thoughts.

Marisa said...

Meg - I know I have said this before but I get just lost in your writing... I never want it to end...

Unknown said...

those things you write about are love.

i love peaking back into my old journals. most of my entries are stupid though - i get embarrassed for myself

Dandy said...

I love looking through old journals. Sometimes what I find can be so profound. There isn't anything better than journaling.

Anonymous said...

perhaps its more about nick drake and dark theaters - than it is about him?

meg fee said...

@ anonymous,

i'm chuckling as i write this, because i always guess if perhaps i know the person behind the mask of anonymity. and the thing is, no. it was definitely, definitely about him.

Anonymous said...

rushmore?! my love affair with jason schwartzman began with that movie.

Rachel said...

and if you are an over-thinker, or even just a thinker, you have to wonder, what it means that you can't write about him.

you have to wonder if you don't want to hear what you would say.

i always do. Thanks for writing.

Sincerely Mariann said...

I love this. I think it is beautifuL.

jessie said...

Remember a while back when you posted about your friend ben, who happens to be on Outsourced?
Well, I definitely have a crush on him. That's all.