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almost there.

this morning i awoke.

and i hurt.


as though i had managed to sleep funny. all-over.

as though i had just run a marathon. climbed a mountain. pushed my body to the limits of extremity.

my friend anne said it's probably stress resolving itself. surfacing before it exits the body.

perhaps it is knowing that this (this utah adventure of mine) ends tuesday morning. knowing that this adventure which was harder than i ever dared imagine--that this adventure which forced more questions than answers--this adventure which revealed thousands of new things--this forced-boil--is almost over.

it has been impossible. this adventure. i'm not going to lie and say it has been anything less than impossible. and for i who lean toward the histrionic, this statement does not even approach hyperbole.

but it has been an adventure. of that i am sure. and for that i give thanks as i slowly and quietly massage the pain up and out, up and out.


Maureen said...

but it has NOT been impossible.
because you did it.

perhaps the pain would go away if you just paused for a few moments and thought of all the things you should be proud of doing this summer. acting, leaving your home, living with roommates, etc.

i hope you had a wonderful summer. and a continued wish for a wonderful fall.

AbbieBabble said...

I think that what Maureen said is so, so true- you DID it. That's what matters. No wonder you feel like you've run a marathon or climbed a mountain- you have, figuratively.

Congratulations on making it out to the other side.

Millar said...

Today I'm feeling pain for the first time in a long time...it sucks. But I remember the last time I felt this way and nothing but strength and growth came from it eventually. I think one day you'll see what you gained from your Utah experience.

Good luck! Something great is coming.

Anonymous said...

Pain is an inevitable part of life and though this Utah journey has been difficult I think you'd probably agree that you grew and learned about yourself through the process and isn't that what life is really about? I say congrats for taking the challenge head on and coming out the clear winner! You go.

Rachel said...

it is impossible. the adventure. the questions. the infernal, eternal, asking.

even when it's "finished", it's impossible.

kate lines said...

your words are beautiful, always.

Jacob C. said...

not impossible...
you accomplished it ( as you can anything ) and i'm sure you did it with grace

Anonymous said...

Man. That Anne Shakespeare has a fountain of truth constantly spewing out of her mouth, doesn't she?

gigi said...

Meg, just now I started to panic thinking that I had missed all the shows. But there is still one tomorrow, and I will try my very hardest to be there! I know your Utah adventure was hard, and I know that I would have a hard time {and not handle it nearly as gracefully as you have} if I ever jetted off to some state all alone for 3 months, but I hope that you'll look back on it with at least a little fondness.

I can't wait to see you perform tomorrow.