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space. and his silence.

there have been two boys (two men, i suppose) that i have cared for. deeply.

two boys (men) who i think of.

though, not often.

not anymore at least.

but two nights ago i dreamt of one. and then today i thought i saw the other.

my mind must be sorting. figuring out where to place these two phantom figures.

and because the cup of the subconscious runneth over (so to speak), i (against my wishes) find myself thinking (consciously?) about both. with one i talk and argue and laugh and with the other we begin in silence.

and that silence is enough. always it is enough.

and so it goes. the two daydreams. the words and banter and laughter v. absolute quiet.

and the thing is, every time--every. single. time. the quiet wins. there is such peace, such love in a world where no words are needed.

image via flickr: eylul aslan


Miss Wendy said...

I need to find a coffee to go with my tea. I hope he's out there.

kara lynn said...

ahhh meg. can i just say that exact same thing has been happening to me [this summer] i hadn't thought of them in ages, then they appear. feelings come back. and the sorting through seems nonsensical.

oh and i'm coming to your show this thursday! finally. yes i know. SO excited.

Jewels said...

Meg, I completely agree. There is something to be said for the passion that arguing and laughter brings but nothing beats the quiet comfort and understanding that comes when silence says it all.
*sigh* now I'm waxing nostalgic...

Cas said...

Love this.

Oh, the whispers of past loves.
They never do seem to fade away.
It's finding a way to find joy in the remembrance of them.
That's the hardest.

But when you finally do.
When you finally find that joy in the sorrow.
It suddenly seems to find a home of sorts.
In the corner of your smile.


laura marie said...

oh boy did this strike a chord... gorgeously put, as always :)

Sarah said...

Oh, this just happened to me the other night. I had one of the most vivid dreams of my life, and it was about a guy I dated in college. It was totally unnerving.

becky said...

This is gorgeous!

Lola said...

you are so right, as always.

Brie said...

Wow. That was beautiful and very well put!

Emily said...

I totally understand.... I have the exact same phantom of my own. Just one. Always wondering if maybe I made a mistake, although it couldn't have been a mistake, or was it? And then I mull over thoughts and I remember the same, deep, peaceful quiet that was brought into my life by his presence and that is when I realize that maybe the memory was truer then the actual ideal.