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fresh air.

this morning found me in central park with little zoobie (my very dearest sixteen-month-old friend).

we pointed out all the ruff-ruffs (dogs) and made fish-faces upon coming to the pond. the carriage horses elicited long neighs which led to a detailed discussion of all other animals sounds. both of us noshing on our bianca (pizza bread) all the while.

and when my phone rang little zoobie looked up and asked, mamma?

i laughed, looked at the screen and said, yes, but my mamma.

i spoke briefly to my mother, aware of the little girl in front of me.

we spoke of oscar dresses. and who we thought looked best. and work. and guys. and how tricky that can be. and somewhere in our oh-so-brief-but-all-encompassing conversation my mother gave me the best advice of my life.

let me preface:

you see i've been a bit batty of late. working extra hours. and trying desperately to survive the last throws of winter and the inefficiency of the mta (ny's mass transit system). and feeling the need for a change but not knowing what that change need be. and if i haven't said it before, let me say it now, i do not. deal well. with uncertainty. and i suppose that's what i've been feeling: uncertainty. winter becoming spring. paying jobs taking back seats to pipe dreams. new adventures and necessary good-byes.

so my mother in her infinite wisdom said... (are you ready for this?)....(wait)...okay:


she chuckled and told me to relax.

and with that one word i felt my entire chest open up.

the tight coil sprang loose and my shoulders fell into place and i could breathe. and laugh.

and not take myself too seriously.

and space arose where before there was none.

perhaps it was the weather. and the little girl in front of me. and the trees overhead. perhaps it was all those things. because this morning that one word was like fresh-air in some damn tired lungs.


Jalene said...

i love this.

lincoln often tells me to relax as well.
it's because i have a break down, oh about every week now. :)

Meg Fee said...

oh jalene, i know the feeling. they come so often, those breakdowns.

jackiek said...

this is amazing.
i always love your posts. they're so inspirational and well-written.
thanks for always making me smile!

Morgan said...

Aren't moms the best?! Always the most needed and sage advice comes from mothers. :)

annie said...

thank you for this. my husband and i are having to make a hard, life-changing decision (or at least it feels that big to me). to move or not to move, that is the question. and in the midst of it all, it feels nice to be reminded to just breathe. to relax. life will take care of itself.

Meg Fee said...

good luck with the decision annie--and you're right--life will take care of itself.

Brittan said...

i was just talking with a couple friends and we all agreed that the awful weather was making us a little crazy. hopefully things will get better now.

it seems like we're in a similar place and i think the city just enhances it.

Shannon said...

Thank you for this. I was feeling so angry just a few hours earlier because I feel so stuck. Your mothers advice to priceless. I think its time to do a little relaxing.

Estee said...

just reading this made me breathe a sigh of relief.
a big thank you to your mother.
and to you.

laura marie said...

as usual, your wisdom (and you mom's!) have come on the perfect day at the perfect time... i so, so needed this during a transitional time :) thank you and may you continue to feel refreshed all week!

The Rookie said...

Thank your mother for me. I think I too needed to hear (read) this.

Melissa said...

That's the best advice you can give. Really, relax. None of the stress is worth it. Enjoy the weather and your fabulous life here in the city. Have a great day!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this. I needed to be reminded of it. I'm bad at relaxing too, and then everything just builds. Tell your mom that I think she rocks. :)

courtney said...

i needed this too. thank you & your mother's infinite wisdom!