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the call of the Father.

sitting in church on thursday night i got this craving--a full-body calling.

to go to rome.

and sit in the cool, dark churches.

to saturate myself in the history of my religion.

to begin at the beginning.

the very beginning.

the ritual: incense. sign of the cross. prostration before the alter.

to feel God.

but not to pray.

to listen.

to sit and listen.

to kneel and listen.

to stand humbled before the yawning eclipse of eternity and listen.

and to allow the answer to erupt before me.

to give a direction to this directionless life.

but because i cannot go to rome.
i bought a fresh copy of beach music and called it a day. (or at least a start).


Pilland said...

Season’s Greetings and Best Wishes to You and to Your Visitors! I arrived here just surfing. I hope Your Today will be all the time better than Yesterday and worse than Tomorrow!

An Estonian living in Italy

Ashley Taylor said...

Are you Catholic?

My husband and I watched "Angels and Demons" the other night and that made me really want to go to Rome and explore all the Churches and art and sculpture! Your alternative sounds very lovely though. :)

Have a nice day!

Maggie said...

Go to Rome.

Write about it.

Sell your article somewhere, paying for your trip and then some. YOU could do that.

There's a chance this might be easier said than done.

But good luck either way.

Emily said...

Meg, the way you describe this - is EXACTLY how I felt when I went to Rome. Being there in those hauntingly beautiful structures, those historic spaces - it renewed my faith in God! An incredible experience. St. Peters Basilica is humbling but it was St. Mary's Cathedral in Rome that really brought tears to my eyes and truly brought me to my knees.

Alexandra said...

do it girl! rome is saturated with religious history, and it's awe striking. loved it. the best are the little-r churches with works of michaelangelo and raphael hanging out like its no big deal. awesome.

Amanda said...

Oh, how lovely it would be to go to Rome and I'm not even Catholic! Thank you for your comment as well, you did link to the correct person! I've pretty much given up on going to regular doctors for the very reason that they don't seem to know very much about anything these days. I cannot even begin to tell you how wonderful it is know that I am not alone, not in just my thinking of doctors, but also in my issue with food. I do hope your beach music is calming :)

elliebird said...

i long to go to Rome and walk around in the great cathedrals, to wander the hills outside the city. one of my favorite books is A Room With a View. it never fails to inspire me to greater dreams of travel.

"Why must people kneel down to pray? If I really wanted to pray I'll tell you what I'd do. I'd go out into a great big field all alone or into the deep, deep, woods, and I'd look up into the sky--up--up--up--into that lovely blue sky that looks as if there was no end to its blueness. And then I'd just feel a prayer."
- Anne of Green Gables

Meg Fee said...

oh what a gorgeous quote from Anne of Green Gables! I'm tucking that one away for a rainy day!

Diana said...

Listening instead of acting on my own will is a great goal for 2010.


Elizabeth Marie said...

Listening...something I am horrible at. Just being still and listening. Thanks lady. Your blog always makes me cry healthy tears.

Anonymous said...

I'm not Christian but my dad's side of the family is, and I've always loved learning about the religion. My cousin's studying abroad this spring and is getting to spend 4 months in Europe, 5-weeks of which will be spent studying theology and architecture in Rome. I'm jealous. Find a way to go eventually, if you can. It sounds incredible.

Marisa said...

i dream of this exact thing and the way you just described it made me cry... i can feel the conviction i would experience in that quiet space...

courtney said...

you inspire me! every time i come to your blog, i get that optimistic, motivated-to-live-life feeling. thank you.

HillTopStar said...

every girl should go to rome in her lifetime. if not for the cathedrals, then for the lovely men. if not for the lovely men then for the gelato. seriously, just go for the gelato.

just go, you won't regret it. although, you will want to back.

i know, because i really, really want to go back.

Celeste said...

i was in rome a few nights ago and am not just beginning 3 months in florence. the churches here are amazing, i know you would love them.